Letters: Share Your Lovers

Share Your Lovers

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Like many people, I am able to be openly in love with more than one person at the same time.

We teach children to share food, toys and friends. How selfish, how cruel the child who demands that his child friend have no other friends or playmates. We adults can learn to share our lovers with others. We enjoy a variety of flowers, fruits, vegetables, colors, books, songs … Many of us also enjoy a variety of lovers! A good parent can have a deep, special bond with each one of several children. Can someone be a “faithful” parent only if he or she has and loves just one child?

I refuse to let any man cage me or fence me in romantically, so I have
no right to cage him or fence him in. Every man I have been in love with has taught me—helping me become a wiser, better lover. All romantic relationships face hurdles, bumps, conflicts … Why put all our eggs into one basket? [We should] invest our hearts into more than one lover at the same time and do it honestly with all involved. So if one lover backs out, moves away or dies, we may feel less separate, less abandoned, less devastated and more able to cope in our sad loss. I do not own any man no matter how deeply I am in love with him. I cannot make any man fall in love with me. I cannot make any man stay in love with me, and I am a fool if I try to force him!

Hell no to cover-ups, lies, “cheating,” double standards and insane jealousy. Yes to deep intimacy and sexual pleasure shared generously with more than one person!

Letters: We’re Being Hoodwinked We’re Being Hoodwinked

Over 90 percent of gun owners are ok with common sense laws to stop the killing of innocent people by mentally ill men and boys, accidental killings of kids by their friends, and suicides of veterans and others by a newly purchased hand gun or even more sadly, one borrowed or bought from a friend. The NRA persists in lying about these alarming killings and swears that more guns will make us safer. When, oh when, have more weapons ever made anyone less likely to be killed by those weapons? That’s like saying falling into a pit of 30 snakes is safer than falling into a pit holding just 1. If only we trusted our gut feelings, we’d know we were being hoodwinked.

I think about the extremely high rate of murder and suicide in this country by guns, legal and illegal, against and by trained owners, by despondent veterans, by madmen with a manifesto, and cowardly little bigots who wait until after prayers are lifted to slaughter someone’s grandparents at their church, by spurned lovers, and by wily vigilantes afraid of kids with dark skin. I think especially about innocent children shot by other innocent children and family members. Heartbreaking!

Every time a mass shooting is reported, more guns are traded and sold, and the gun manufacturers make even more money off of death, fear, anger and hatred. The NRA grudgingly advocates safety training online. You can imagine how effective that is; most skim the manual or consult a friend. I count 28 gun shops within 25 miles of my home and Craigslist also has some deals and eager sellers that will expertly sell me on my need for their product. Anyone who wants a gun can get a gun in America. The NRA tells all of us to ignore online sales, gaping loopholes, straw buyers, domestic violence deaths of women and children, and crazy people with a grudge; that is "normal." The NRA sharply discounts the proven fact that guns that are truly safely stored are neither stolen nor used against the homeowner, and they certainly don’t push $14 trigger safety devices. They’d much rather you purchase a weapon and ammunition capable of mowing down dozens of people in a nightclub or movie theater. I hear they all come with some sort of useful manual.

According to Daniel Gordis, a writer living in Israel—a society predicated on citizen rights just like ours—“On average, the gun that represents the greatest threat is the one that is kept loaded and readily available in a bedside drawer." He says Israelis developed a sense of weapons responsibility, not merely a sense of entitlement to weapons. He reports that there are more guns per capita owned by Israelis, who are constantly embroiled in wars and deadly conflicts with their neighbors, than by US citizens, who are not at war with our neighbors, yet Americans are killing other Americans at 33 times their rate. Alarming!

Apparently, a pseudo war has been manufactured for us, a fractured and paranoid country, to shoot to kill, by intent or by accident. We’ve been suckered in by the rhetoric of extremely loud and proud gun lobbyists. If we actually cared about our collective responsibility to prevent senseless killings, we would submit to an application process to buy a gun, like they do in Israel. We might approach gun ownership like Germany, requiring anyone under 25 years old who considers buying a gun to first submit to a psychiatric evaluation. Several families might still be attending church with their grandparents today if we were like Germany. If only we were just as focused as Finland, which allows private gun ownership once a person proves they are an active member of a regulated shooting club, can pass an aptitude test and an interview by the police, and show they have an approved storage unit for their gun, we might not be mourning the deaths of two dozen little kids and their teachers every 14th of December. If only we cared.

Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via email to letters@alibi.com. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter. Word count limit for letters is 300 words.

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