Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
Dateline: Massachusetts— A former pastor at St. John the Baptist Church in Haverhill has been charged with stealing $83,147 from the church—most of which was used to pay off his extensive pornography bills. According to Haverhill police reports, Rev. Keith LeBlanc had a credit card he used exclusively for online pornography. By the time he was caught, the credit card had racked up a $25,000 balance. Haverhill’s Eagle Tribune reports that Comcast cable bills from the church rectory show that LeBlanc charged $4,021.14 worth of “adult” movies to the church during his tenure. An Archdiocese of Boston investigation led by attorney Mark Dunderdale led to LeBlanc’s removal from the pulpit in June. “Father LeBlanc admitted to Dunderdale that he has an addiction and needs help,” police Detective Glenn Fogarty wrote in his report. According to Det. Fogarty’s report, LeBlanc has been sent to St. John Vianney Center in Pennsylvania, a church-run retreat that specializes in “behavioral health issues” of clergy. LeBlanc was pastor at St. John’s for six years. Dateline: Connecticut— A man who was shot twice while buying a sandwich at a New Haven delicatessen returned home and finished his lunch before asking his father to drive him to the hospital. The New Haven Register reports police responded to the Yale-New Haven Hospital on Tuesday, Nov. 9, after a report of a shooting. The victim, identified as 25-year-old Miguel Soto III, told police that he was exiting the deli near George and Day streets when he heard three shots. Two bullets struck him, injuring his groin area and left leg. Motivated more by hunger than pain, however, Soto went home and ate his sandwich before heading to the hospital. Officers said Soto’s injuries were not life-threatening. Investigators have the descriptions of two unknown male suspects. Dateline: Florida— A court in Archuleta County has refused a man’s request for restraining orders against President Barack Obama, former Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow and Jesus Christ. John Gilliand filed papers earlier this month, claiming he felt “threatened” by the three famous figures. Gilliand’s filings also made reference to the three men being in a gang together and making “gang symbols” in his direction, the Orlando Sentinel reports. “I was trespassed from the Kangaroo Gas Station on University for saying T-Bo [sic] sucks,” Gilliand wrote in his petition for an injunction for protection against the Heisman trophy-winning footballer. “I personally hate any type of exercise although I feel Billy Blanks has a wonderful video,” Gilliand added, referencing the Hollywood actor / martial artist / Tae Bo workout creator, from whom he was not seeking protection. Not surprisingly, the petitions were rejected the same day they were filed. Undaunted, Gilliand filed a supplemental affidavit, dropping Jesus Christ and naming only Obama and Tebow. Dateline: Florida— Authorities had an easy time tracking down the teenage burglar they believe broke into a home on Sugarloaf Key—seems the teen logged on to his MySpace account while at the scene of the crime. The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said a caretaker for the vacation house called 911 on the evening of Sunday, Nov. 7, to report seeing someone sitting on a couch inside. According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel , deputies arrived to find the house unoccupied, but did discover an open back window, empty food containers and some marijuana left on a coffee table. They also found the residences computer left on and still logged on to the MySpace account of Robert Rupp, 18, of neighboring Big Coppitt Key. Rupp was spotted walking the neighborhood and arrested. He allegedly told police he went inside the house because it was cold outside. Rupp was charged with burglary, possession of burglary tools and theft. Dateline: Kentucky— A central Kentucky man says he was forced to eat his own beard after a lawnmower-based deal with former friends went strangely awry. Harvey Westmoreland of Lawrenceburg told WLEX-TV that the two men cut off his beard, stuffed it in his mouth and made him eat it. The argument began in May of 2009 when James Hill and Troy Holt got angry as they tried to negotiate a price for a used lawnmower. “Troy offered to buy it from me for $250. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him,” Westmoreland told the TV station. “One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.” Hill and Holt pleaded guilty to charges related to the incident and will be sentenced later this month. Westmoreland says he is no longer friends with the two man after the beard-gobbling incident.