Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
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Dateline: Canada— Police in the city of Nanaimo, British Columbia (Bathtub Racing Capital of the World), arrested a man after he was found walking around naked with a swastika taped to his body. Police were called to the scene last Friday by concerned residents. When questioned, the man told police he was “honoring Hitler’s birthday.” He was detained and will undergo a psychiatric assessment. Hitler was born on April 20, 1889. Dateline: Nevada— A police raid on an alleged Las Vegas brothel turned up two unusual suspects last weekend: San Mateo County Sheriff Greg Munks and his undersheriff. Munks called the incident a “personal embarrassment” and apologized to sheriff’s officials, the county and his family for his “lack of personal judgment.” The California-based law enforcer denied any wrongdoing, however, as did Undersheriff Carlos Bolanos. Munks and Bolanos were caught up in a prostitution sting that swept through eight alleged brothels late Saturday night. Munks, who was sworn in as sheriff in January, and his undersheriff were in town attending the 2007 Challenge Cup Baker-to-Vegas Relay, a 120-mile, 20-stage foot race for law enforcement. Munks and Bolanos were nabbed at about 9:30 p.m. on Saturday when authorities raided the property, located in a residential neighborhood about 2 miles off the Las Vegas Strip. Bolanos told a CBS television reporter in Las Vegas after the bust that he and his boss were looking for a massage because they were sore from the run. “I believed I was going to a legitimate business,” the sheriff said last Tuesday at the Redwood City courthouse, reading from a written statement with Bolanos as his side. “It was not.” The supposed “massage parlor” was located in a private home. It had no name and no signage. Las Vegas police Lt. Dave Logue told reporters it was difficult to comment on whether the business where Munks and Bolanos were could have been mistaken for a therapeutic massage parlor. “That’s hard to say, because I don’t frequent legitimate massage parlors,” Logue said. Police and federal agents seized 3,500 tablets of ecstasy and $20,000 in cash during the raids. Seven people were arrested for allegedly operating the brothels and 25 prostitutes were taken into custody, according to police. Munks and Bolanos were released without charges. Dateline: Wisconsin— A man called 911 early last Saturday to report that he had given $20 for a lap dance to the wrong woman. According to the Dodge County Sheriff’s Department dispatch logs, the unnamed man claimed he handed a $20 bill to a woman in the T&T Gentleman’s Club in Clyman. Unfortunately, the woman he gave his money to was not an employee of the strip club. She left the establishment without providing a dance. According to the log, dispatchers could hear arguing in the background when the man called 911 on his cell phone. Officers are trying to locate the woman. Dateline: Illinois— A suburban Chicago man in Oak Park didn’t have enough money to ride the Metra train to his drug court appointment in St. Charles—so he stole a car instead. While rifling through the glove box of a 2007 Cadillac Escalade that he did not have permission to be in, 49-year-old Daniel C. DeMay, Jr. found an extra set of keys. DeMay decided this was a sign that he should “borrow” the $76,000 vehicle to make his court appointment in time. Unfortunately, the vehicle’s antitheft device notified Elgin police of the unauthorized usage. Police stopped DeMay shortly thereafter. Somewhere along the way, DeMay had picked up two additional passengers, both of whom were on their way to the Kane County Judicial Center. They were released. DeMay was arrested. He was charged last Wednesday with aggravated unlawful possession of a vehicle and aggravated unlawful possession of a converted vehicle, police said. He did not make his initial drug court appearance in time. Dateline: Florida— A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome. Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested last Sunday after allegedly stealing items from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported. Gallo reportedly told authorities that she could not wait in line to pay for the items because she suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. Gallo was charged with petty larceny and released Sunday from the Lee County jail on a $500 bond.