Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
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Dateline: England– A springer spaniel was rushed to the hospital after eating what his owners say is his 40 th pair of underwear. Taffy, owned by Eubie and Sharon Saayman of Tamworth, Staffs, has also wolfed down 300 socks and destroyed 15 pairs of shoes. He even once ate the keys to their Mercedes, reports London’s Daily Mirror. Normally, everything Taffy devours comes out the other end, but this last pair of underpants wouldn’t budge. Fortunately, 34-year-old Eubie Saayman is a veterinarian, who operated on his family’s pet after noticing the animal was in pain. “He didn’t touch his food for two days and lay in his bed looking sorry for himself. I knew straight away what had happened so I didn’t need an X-ray to see the problem,” Saayman told the newspaper. “His stomach was swollen and, during the operation, just as I thought, there was a pair of my son’s Bob the Builder pants that had got stuck.” Sharon, 44, manager of Eubie’s vet’s practice, said they have spent nearly $1,000 replacing items the 18-month-old spaniel has swallowed. “I guess this is just his vice,” said Mrs. Saayman.

Dateline: Ireland– Somebody’s having a hell of a party. A thief made off with 180 kegs of Guinness beer after driving into the famous Dublin brewery and calmly stealing a trailer full of suds. The incident took place last Wednesday at the Guinness brewery on the banks of Dublin’s River Liffey, where Ireland’s favorite beverage has been brewed for almost 250 years. The alcoholic haul also included 180 kegs of Budweiser and 90 barrels of Carlsberg lager, police said. A police spokesperson said the missing beer has an estimated value of 64,000 euros ($94,800).

Dateline: Canada– Sandy Wong told a court in Edmonton, Alberta, that he is sexually attracted to expensive and classic cars. Unfortunately, the 45-year-old’s sexual deviancy led him to “pleasuring” himself while sitting on the roof of a BMW on display at the Home and Garden Show at the Northlands AgriCom. Wong was sentenced last week to 90 days in jail and put on two years probation after pleading guilty to three counts of indecent exposure, two counts of mischief, two counts of obstructing a peace officer and one count of theft. The Edmonton Sun reports Wong was observed checking out three BMW vehicles on display at the Home and Garden Show on March 22. Shortly after that, he was seen sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000. Finally, Wong dropped his sweatpants to his ankles and was spotted masturbating while dangling his legs over the driver’s side door window. Security detained Wong until police showed up. A cleanup crew later washed down the BMW. According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he was “sexually attracted” to the BMW’s rooftop because it was “curved like a woman’s body.” Woods said Wong reported arousal from other cars, including a 1967 Camaro and a 1955 Bel Air, and blames the owners for buying the cars because it tempts him to “pleasure” himself. Wong also revealed a “sexual captivation” with motorcycles.

Dateline: Canada– According to a report cited on NewScientist.com, Canadians could save millions of dollars in energy costs by giving up their “beer fridges.” Using data from the industry and Canada’s natural resources department, Denise Young, a researcher at the University of Alberta, concluded that 30 percent of Canada’s 11.5 million households have beer fridges–old refrigerators often placed in a garage for the sole purpose of storing beer. The Canadian Appliance Manufacturers Association estimates a fridge built in 1980 uses 1,060 kilowatt hours of energy a year, whereas newer models can burn as little as 380 kilowatt hours per year.

Dateline: Arkansas– The mayor of Centerton, Ark., resigned last Wednesday after claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers almost three decades ago. Mayor Ken Williams, who has been in office since 2001, admitted he has been living under an assumed name for nearly 30 years. Williams told authorities he was born Don LaRose and that, in the mid-’70s, he was a preacher in Indiana. Williams said he was brainwashed by Satanists into forgetting all about LaRose and abandoning his wife and kids. Williams said he regained his memory recently after being given a truth-serum injection. Williams also claimed he assumed his current identity in 1980 in an attempt to protect his wife and two kids. “I had no choice,” Williams told reporters. “The choice was to watch my family killed before my eyes or go with these people, and I chose to run.” Williams said his second wife is standing by him and that he plans to continue living in Centerton as Ken Williams.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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