Dateline: Brazil— If, for some reason, Barack Obama doesn’t become the next President of the United States, at least he’s got a shot in Brazil. Eight, in fact. A grand total of eight candidates in Brazil’s upcoming local elections have adopted the name “Barack Obama,” hoping to catch some attention in the notoriously crowded races. Obama isn’t alone, either. More than 200 hopefuls contesting the municipal polls this weekend have renamed themselves after Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, the country’s popular president, who maintains an 80 percent approval rating. Brazilian election law allows candidates to either register under their own name or choose a new one. Among the more outlandish candidates running for various offices this year are “Elephant Without a Tail,” “Germany in the Lorry,” “Golden Fork,” “King of the Cuckolds,” “Kung Fu Fatty” and “The Second King of Prawns.” Although no Brazilian candidate has adopted the name of Obama rival John McCain, there is one “Bill Clinton,” a “DJ Saddam” and three Bin Ladens (John Bin Laden, Chico Bin Laden and Luis Bin Laden). Claudio Henrique dos Anjos, who is running for mayor of Belford Roxo, said he changed his name to Claudio Henrique-Barack Obama because, “I am Black and I wore a suit on television and people started to tell me I was just like that Barack Obama guy in the United States.” Dateline: Connecticut— A Superior Court judge threw out a “naturally blonde” woman’s lawsuit against L’Oreal claiming her life was ruined after one of the company’s hair-dye products turned her into a brunette. The judge ruled that Charlotte Feeney of Stratford never proved her allegation that L’Oreal put brown hair dye in a box labeled blonde. “I was mentally and physically in shock,” Feeney stated in court documents. “I was sick to my stomach, I had headaches, I don’t like myself, I stay home more than ever in my life, I wear hats most of the time.” Feeney claimed she was so traumatized by the change in hair color that she needed antidepressants. “I can never go back to my natural blonde hair,” complained Feeney. “I feel fake about that. Also, blondes do get more attention than brunettes, of course. Emotionally, I miss that.” L’Oreal disputed Feeney’s claim that the wrong color had been placed in the box of hair dye. The company contended that if she did pick out brown hair dye instead of blonde, she should have realized her mistake by following the directions on the package and doing a strand test first. Dateline: Pennsylvania— An overly amorous couple was caught having sex in a car while parked in the worst possible place: a handicapped spot outside the Hellertown police station. The driver, Dennis Conor Cullen, 23, was charged with drunk driving. Police did not charge Cullen, of Potomac, nor his unnamed female companion with anything related to having sex in the car. Cullen and the woman told police they had been drinking at a Lehigh University function earlier in the evening. Police found the couple shortly before 3 a.m. after responding to a call of a suspicious vehicle parked in a handicapped space in front of the police station. When asked why they had parked at the station house, Cullen and the woman said they were unaware of their location—even though they were parked next to several marked police cars. Dateline: Ohio– Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott told 24-year-old Andrew Vactor he could reduce his $150 court fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo to a mere $35 if he spent 20 hours listening to classical music. Vactor lasted all of 15 minutes before deciding he couldn’t face the music. He paid the full $150 fine instead. Dateline: Tennessee— According to a report in The Tennessean , a man named Tommy Fox was driving home from his job in Dover last Wednesday at about 11 p.m. when he accidentally ran over a red fox with his SUV. After he ran over the animal, Fox stopped his GMC Jimmy and decided to get the fox so he could cut off the tail as a souvenir. Seeing as how his name was Tommy Fox, it seemed like the perfect thing to do. “The tails are real bushy and pretty and thick this time of year,” Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency wildlife officer Dale Grandstaff told The Tennessean . Unfortunately, the fox Fox tossed into his backseat wasn’t dead, only stunned. And mad. It woke up shortly after Fox started driving and tried to climb into the front seat. While wrestling with the animal, Fox’s SUV crossed the center line of the road and flipped over in a ditch, landing on its roof. Fox suffered minor injuries and bruises and was treated at the scene by Montgomery County Emergency Medical Service. The fox was found dead in the SUV. It is not known if Mr. Fox got to keep the tail.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
