Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
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Dateline: Germany— A Bavarian town is finally set to strip Adolf Hitler of the honorary citizenship he was granted—a mere 64 years after the fall of the Nazi leader’s regime. Austrian-born Hitler secured German citizenship from Bavarian burghers in Schwabach, located near Nuremberg, in 1933. Last Friday, city councilors voted to strip the deceased dictator and two other senior Nazi officials of their citizenship. “It would look strange if we didn’t withdraw it,” Mayor Matthias Thürauf told the Croatian Times .

Dateline: England— Hoping to prevent teenagers from congregating, a housing estate in Mansfield has installed special pink lights that highlight skin blemishes such as pimples. The acne-enhancing lights were purchased by the Layton Burroughs Residents’ Association and have been installed in three underpasses on the estate. Tony Gelsthorpe, chairman of the Residents’ Association, told reporters, “We’ve had problems with underage drinking, drug dealing, antisocial behavior and general intimidation.” Gelsthorpe admitted he was “a little bit dubious” of the pink lights but says they seem to be effective in chasing off the pimple-faced loiterers. Not everyone is pleased with the results, however. Peta Halls, development officer for the U.K.’s National Youth Agency, told BBC News, “Anything that aims to embarrass people out of an area is not on. They have a right to congregate, it’s part of being a teenager and most young people are good, law-abiding people.”

Dateline: Massachusetts— Hoping to quash what are apparently persistent rumors, the headmaster of Boston Latin School sent a note last Thursday to faculty, students and parents denying the presence of bloodsucking vampires on campus. Two law enforcement officials with knowledge of the incident told the Boston Globe that a group of girls at the school had been bullying at least one other student who likes to dress in goth style. Officials said the girls began spreading a rumor that the student was a vampire who had cut someone’s neck and sucked his or her blood. When Boston police went to the school Wednesday on an unrelated matter, their presence fueled yet another rumor: that a vampire was being arrested. Lynne Mooney Teta, headmaster of the historic prep school, issued her vampiric denial the following day. “The headmaster believes that the outrageous rumors had reached a point where she had to say something to families to ensure that all students felt safe and respected,” said Chris Horan, School Department spokesperson.

Dateline: Connecticut— Technically speaking, 59-year-old David Maksimik succeeded in robbing the People’s United Bank in Darien on Jan. 29, but the rest of that fateful day has worldwide media branding him as “the world’s unluckiest bank robber.” Police claim Maksimik robbed the bank using a fake grenade and a gun. He reportedly escaped from the scene of the crime but crashed his getaway vehicle into another car shortly after leaving the bank. The hapless (and now carless) thief tried to hail a bus and then a cab to complete his getaway. Unsuccessful in his attempts to use public transportation, Maksimik eventually called his sister to come pick him up. According to the Connecticut Post , when Mr. Maksimik finally made it home with his ill-gotten loot, he found that his roommate had committed suicide. Maksimik called emergency services. Police responding to the death say they found bank money totaling $3,745 inside a bag on Mr. Maksimik’s bed and arrested him. He is being held on bond, pending a hearing.

Dateline: Florida— Authorities in the tiny, central town of Bithlo say a man who allegedly threw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor’s trailer ended up setting fire to two cars, a pickup truck and a travel trailer in his own yard. The Florida Highway Patrol reported that a 51-year-old man got into a fight with his neighbor last Tuesday night and threw a makeshift gasoline bomb. Unfortunately, the wind shifted, igniting an uncontrolled blaze in the thrower’s yard instead. The unnamed man faces multiple charges, including arson, and is being held at the Orange County Jail. Authorities believe alcohol was involved.

Dateline: Washington— An attempt by an inmate at the Clallam Bay Corrections Center to whip up some good, old-fashioned toilet sausage forced an evacuation last Wednesday evening. A spokesperson for the prison said 130 inmates were moved to a dining hall when smoke was spotted coming from a sewer vent pipe. Spokesperson Denise Larson said the smoke was traced to an inmate’s cell. The inmate admitted to trying to heat up snack sausages he’d purchased from the prison store in a stainless steel toilet. The lavatory chef has been placed in segregation pending a disciplinary hearing at the prison on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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