Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
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Dateline: Belgium

Watch who you insult in Belgium. An anti-European Union member of the European Union Parliament has just been fined 2,980 euros ($3,864) for saying the president of the European Council, Herman Van Rompuy, has “the charisma of a damp rag.” The insult came following a 2010 speech in Brussels by Van Rompuy. At the time, Parliament member Nigel Farage stood up and gave his assessment of Van Rompuy’s character. He also added that the council president came from “pretty much a non-country.” The Parliament docked Farage 10 days’ pay for the insult, but he appealed to the European Court of Justice. Earlier this month, the court ruled that he had filed his appeal too late. Farage must now pay the fine and cover the Parliament’s legal expenses.

Dateline: Kentucky

Jessamine County resident and apparent moonshine connoisseur Danny Reynolds was arrested on what was either a DUI charge or a sincere attempt to become the World’s Biggest Redneck. According to Central Kentucky’s WKYT-27, Reynolds was nabbed for driving drunk on a horse. “I had no idea you could be arrested for something like this,” Reynolds, 55, told WKYT News. The arresting officer noted that, “upon a search of [Reynolds’] pockets, I located a package of rolling papers and a baggie of marijuana.” As if that weren’t enough, the officer also located “several beers in his saddle bag and a mason jar which he [Reynolds] identified as moonshine.” Reynolds—who describes himself as “severely diabetic”—insists he was not drunk and only staggered in front of police because his blood sugar was low. According to the police report, however, Reynolds’ blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit. Reynolds was charged with operating a non-motorized vehicle under the influence and with possession of marijuana.

Dateline: Florida

A report on WEAR-3 TV in Pensacola says Okaloosa County resident Jadian Hatfield is facing charges of beating her ex-boyfriend Brandon Fleming with his own leg. Fleming lost his left leg when he was 7 years old to a lawn-mowing accident. Apparently things haven’t gotten much better for the guy since. Fleming says he’s been locked in a bitter custody battle with Hatfield over their 2-year-old son. Last month, Hatfield allegedly showed up at Fleming’s house with two unnamed men. “I went to the back room to call the law, and I heard my son scream,” Fleming told the
Miami Herald. “When I heard him scream, I came back and she was pulling him outside the window. I jumped out the window to get my son in the car.” As Fleming rushed to retrieve the toddler, the unidentified men grabbed him and held him down, at which point Fleming says the baby mama grabbed his prosthetic leg off and “she goes to hitting my legs with it.” Fleming tried to snatch the leg back, but says Hatfield then pulled a shotgun on him. He responded by running back inside the house. “I ain’t scared of nothing or nobody, but I think she was crazy enough to do it.” Hatfield took off with the boy, but deputies eventually caught up to her. Hatfield is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, domestic violence, battery, interfering with the custody of a minor and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

Dateline: Florida

Equalizing the gender gap on crazy assaults in Florida is Michael Wayne Jones, 42, who is accused of domestic battery, strangulation and animal abuse after allegedly beating his girlfriend with her own dog. Police in Sanford say Jones got into an argument with his girlfriend on Thursday, Sept. 13. The arrest report states that Jones became angry because his unnamed live-in girlfriend came home with her daughter, and one of the women tried to smoke some crack cocaine. According to the victim, Jones “freaked out.” Jones’ girlfriend tried to drive away, but he allegedly tried to stop her by punching her car windshield and pulling her small pet dog out of the vehicle. After threatening to kill the dog, Jones reportedly began to beat his girlfriend with the animal. He then attempted to choke her and eventually fled the scene on his bicycle. Police soon located the suspect, who was bleeding from his right hand. He said he left the home for his own safety and insisted that he had caused no harm to the dog. Officers on the scene noted that neither the woman nor the dog suffered any serious injuries. “To use [a dog] as some sort of club device … I just don’t get that,” Sanford Police Lt. Jim McAuliffe told the
Orlando Sentinel.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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