Dateline: EnglandThe U.K.’s Mirror newspaper reports police issued a warning after an angry wine snob called emergency services to report bits of cork in his bottle of wine. The unidentified man was in a bar in Manchester’s Northern Quarter when he dialed 999—the English equivalent of 911. According to police spokesperson Insp. Phil Spurgeon, “He said he was having a dispute with staff because they would not give him a refund because his wine had bits of cork in it. They were trying to eject him because he was being difficult.” The man was advised that tying up emergency service lines with non-emergency calls can result in a fine.Dateline: EnglandA zoo in Surrey has banned visitors from wearing leopard print because it confuses the animals. Chessington World of Adventures Resort has penned a new zero-tolerance policy on animal print clothing following the launch of its new “ZUFARI: Ride Into Africa!” exhibit. Zookeepers at the wild animal park have reportedly noticed the wildlife “becoming baffled” when confronted with visitors in animal print along the new 22-acre Serengeti-style trail. “Visitors get so close to wild animal species that if someone wears the same pattern to the animal’s coat, they can become over-friendly,” park spokesperson Natalie Dilloway told reporters. “If they wear the pattern of its predator, it has the opposite effect, and the animals become afraid and run away.” The resort says it has hired animal print bouncers to identify anyone wearing leggings, coats, tops, hats or dresses which violate the new rules. Visitors who do will be issued gray jumpsuits so as not to antagonize the animals. Dateline: IllinoisThe Decatur Daily reports that police dispatchers received a 911 call from a homeowner on the afternoon of Sept. 24, reporting gorillas in his backyard. Police spokesperson Lt. John Crouch told the newspaper dispatchers heard gunshots at about 2:45pm after the man stopped speaking with them but left the phone line open. Officers responded to the residence on Aldridge Bend and made contact with the man. Inside the home they found a shotgun that appeared to have been fired several times. The man had apparently unloaded several rounds from the shotgun into his living room wall while sitting in a recliner. “It appeared he was shooting at something he thought was inside the house,” Crouch said. A Morgan County mental health officer ordered the man be taken to the emergency room at Decatur Morgan Hospital for a mental evaluation. The man was taken into custody, and no charges were filed. Police failed to locate any gorillas in the residence.Dateline: UtahMeloney Selleneit, 55, of Centerville pleaded guilty but mentally ill earlier this month to charges of attempted criminal solicitation and possession of a dangerous weapon by a restricted person. Selleneit admitted in court she convinced her husband to shoot a neighbor in the back of the head because he had “telepathically raped” her. Selleneit’s husband, 55-year-old Michael Selleneit, pleaded guilty but mentally ill earlier this year to reduced charges of attempted manslaughter and use of a firearm by a restricted person for the shooting of Tony Pierce in November of 2011. According to testimony Michael Selleneit believed Pierce was having telepathic sex parties with his wife and was using crack cocaine to control her mind. Pierce was shot twice in the back of his neck while working on his lawn. He survived the shooting, but said in a statement at Michael Selleneit’s sentencing that he still experiences back pain every day. The husband was sentenced to serve two consecutive sentences of up to 15 years apiece for the two second-degree felonies. The wife spent over a year receiving treatment at a state mental hospital. In August a judge ruled she was competent to stand trial. Mrs. Selleneit is scheduled to be sentenced on Oct. 31.Dateline: FloridaA linguistic mix-up between lovers caused one Treasure Coast woman to get locked up for domestic battery. According to police reports published on TCPalm.com, Barbara Hall, 60, and her 45-year-old boyfriend decided to have sex. After an appropriate amount of foreplay, she sent him to the kitchen to find some sort of “sexual lubricant.” He returned with a bottle of olive oil. “When [the boyfriend] returned with the olive oil, Barbara asked if he had also brought the PAM cooking spray,” notes the police report. “Barbara believed [the boyfriend] misunderstood what she had said and commented on a girl named Pam that he knows.” So, thinking that his girlfriend was asking if he had brought “Pam” with him and was perhaps suggesting some sort of ménage à trois situation, the boyfriend unwisely admitted that he had engaged in sexual relations with a girl named Pam while he and Hall were “broke up.” That started an argument, which ended with Hall throwing a beverage at him. Also she punched him. And threw the bottle of olive oil at him. And a flashlight. Hall was arrested on a battery domestic charge. The boyfriend went home. Possibly to Pam. Or PAM.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
