Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: Norway

Norwegian Public Broadcasting has announced plans to air “National Knitting Night,” which will include a live 5-hour attempt to break the world knitting record. The NRK network says the Nov. 1 broadcast will be preceded by a 4-hour documentary showing viewers how wool gets from a sheep’s back to a sweater. That will be followed by the live record attempt. The current world record for nonstop knitting stands at 4 hours 50 minutes. That record is held by Australia. NRK producer Rune Moeklebust told the Associated Press, “It’s kind of ordinary TV, but very slow. Although they’ll be knitting as fast as they can.” “National Knitting Night” is the latest in Norway’s growing “slow TV” movement. In February NRK aired 12 hours’ worth of a log fire burning. That was followed later in the season by 18 consecutive hours of salmon spawning.

Dateline: Ohio

According to police reports, an alleged drunk driver led police on a car chase so that he could finish eating his Big Mac before going to jail.
The Smoking Gun website reports police in Brunswick were alerted to a possible drunk driver when a pedestrian reported almost being struck by a speeding SUV around 1am on the night of Sept. 28. Officers located the vehicle at a McDonald’s drive-thru. The driver failed to pull over, and a chase ensued. When the vehicle was finally pulled over, police noticed “a strong odor of [an] alcoholic beverage coming from the vehicle.” According to the police report, driver Randall Miller “stated he was sorry, he was too drunk and he just wanted to eat his Big Mac before he stopped.” Miller was given a breath alcohol test and blew a .255—more than three times the legal limit.

Dateline: Ohio

A man who was declared legally dead 20 years ago went to court earlier this month and was told by a county judge that he’s just going to have to stay dead. Donald Miller Jr. was asking the court to reverse a 1994 ruling that declared him legally dead after he disappeared from his home eight years earlier. Hancock County Probate Court Judge Allan Davis turned down Miller’s request, citing a three-year time limit for challenging a death ruling. Miller’s former wife told the
Courier newspaper in Findlay that her former husband disappeared in the ’80s because he owed over $25,000 in child support payments. Miller, now 61, said he vanished because he was an alcoholic. “It kind of went further than I ever expected it to,” Miller explained. “I just kind of took off, ended up in different places.” Since returning to life in 2005, Miller has been trying to get a driver’s license and reinstate his Social Security number. His ex-wife opposes the move, saying she doesn’t have the money to repay the Social Security benefits that were paid out to her and the couple’s two children after Miller was declared dead. Judge Davis called it a “strange, strange situation” and told Miller, “I don’t know where this leaves you, but you’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned.”

Dateline: Florida

A horny woman allegedly became incensed when her boyfriend refused to have sex with her—so she stabbed him in the eye. According to the TC Palm website, the boyfriend of 28-year-old La Crystal King-Woolfork came home drunk around 4am on the morning of Sept. 26 after “having a good time” at the Shake Your Booty club in Vero Beach. King-Woolfork told police “she and another female entered the bedroom where [the boyfriend] was sleeping and started performing oral sex on one another while [the boyfriend] watched.” King-Woolfork said she wanted her boyfriend to have sex with her and the other woman, but he refused. According to the unnamed boyfriend, King-Woolfork got mad after the other woman left and stabbed him in the eye and shoulder with a knife. The boyfriend said he disarmed her and called another person to take him to the hospital. King-Woolfork told police she did fight with her boyfriend, but used a candlestick holder instead of a knife. She was arrested on attempted murder charges.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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