Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
Dateline: IcelandA “missing” woman unwittingly joined her own search party while on vacation in Iceland. It happened after a tourist group traveling by bus to the volcanic Eldgjá canyon pulled into a rest stop. The woman in question went into the bathroom to freshen up and change her clothes. According to the Toronto Sun, when she got back on the bus, her traveling companions did not recognize her. Word spread among the passengers about a missing tourist, and the woman failed to realize that the description was of herself. A 50-person search party was organized, and the woman joined in. It wasn’t until 3am that someone managed to figure out the missing tourist was actually one of the search team members. Dateline: New ZealandA 22-year-old Dunedin man who lost a poker bet to his so-called friends has been forced to legally change his name to Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova. A person claiming to be a friend of Mr. Frostnova posted a copy of the official government name change documentation online. Apparently the loser petitioned for the name change several years ago but wasn’t sure it was official until his passport expired and he received new documentation. Michael Mead, a Department of Internal Affairs (DIA) Births, Deaths and Marriages spokesperson confirmed to the New Zealand Herald earlier this month that the 99-character name was registered in March 2010. Mead said the name met the government requirements, and the accompanying documentation was correct. Mr. Frostnova’s new name is one character short of the DIA’s 100-character limit.Dateline: ColoradoA Broomfield man is suing the people who rescued him when his car was swept away by heavy flooding last year for half a million dollars. Why would he do that? Ed Ferszt, lawyer for Roy Ortiz, told the Denver Channel that divers with North Metro Fire Rescue only rescued his client by accident. Last September Ortiz’ vehicle was swept into a creek in Broomfield County after hitting a portion of washed-out road near U.S. 287 in Lafayette. Ferszt says the rescue might have taken longer than it should have because rescue workers didn’t know Ortiz was trapped in the overturned vehicle. The driver managed to find a pocket of air and stayed alive for nearly two hours until emergency divers finally found him. “Of course he was thankful because those divers did have a major role to play in saving his life that day,” Ferszt told The Denver Channel. “That doesn’t negate the fact that a mistake may have been made.” Many in the Denver area have questioned Ortiz’ motives. “Aren’t you just happy to be alive?” asked 7NEWS reporter Russell Haythorn. “Well, I’m happy. I’m really happy to be alive,” Ortiz responded. “But I’m looking for some help with my bills.” Ortiz, co-pastor of a church in Aurora, is seeking $500,000 from Boulder County Sheriff’s deputy Jeanette Cunning, Sgt. Mike Linden and other first responders for not saving his life quick enough.Dateline: OregonDespite locking themselves in a bedroom and calling 911 when their cat went on a rampage, the owners of 22-pound Himalayan mix Lux say they’re not giving away the furry psycho. “It’s not going to happen. I’m not getting rid of my cat right now,” owner Teresa Barker told the Oregonian newspaper. Things went south starting on Sunday, March 9, when Teresa Barker and Lee Palmer’s 8-month-old son, Jesse, crawled after the cat and pulled his tail. Lux responded by taking a swipe at the kid and drawing blood on his forehead. Palmer responded to that by kicking the feline. “I should not have kicked him, which I did barefoot and not even hard, but I don’t believe in hitting animals,” Palmer told the newspaper. “But when I saw my son bleeding, I lost my temper.” That kick allegedly sent Lux “over the edge” into a psychotic state so dangerous the entire family—including their pet dog Smokey—locked themselves in the bedroom of their apartment in Northwest Portland. Palmer said he couldn’t get through to Multnomah County Animal Services, so he called 911. On the recording of the 911 call, Lux can be heard yowling loudly in the background. Police eventually arrived and captured the feline offender, who was hanging out on top of the refrigerator. Palmer and family have already fielded several offers of psychological counseling for Lux, but are holding out for a spot on the Animal Planet show “My Cat From Hell.”