Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: Australia

A driver with a learner’s permit has lost her license for nine months after smashing into a bicyclist while texting—and she isn’t happy about it. Port Fairy resident Kimberly Davis pleaded guilty to dangerous driving in Warrnambool Magistrates Court on Monday, April 14. On Sept. 20 of last year, the 21-year-old was leaving a supermarket in east Warrnambool when she hit a cyclist at 7:20pm. The cyclist suffered a spinal fracture which required extensive surgery and a three-month stay in the hospital. For a time doctors worried he could be a paraplegic. Interviewed by police two days after the accident, Davis told officers, “I just don’t care because I’ve already been through a lot of bullshit and my car is, like, pretty expensive and now I have to fix it.” Davis went on to say that she was “kind of pissed off that the cyclist hit the side of my car. I don’t agree that people texting and driving could hit a cyclist.” Records showed Davis used her phone 44 times on the trip back home from the supermarket, sending and receiving 22 text messages to seven different phone numbers. After striking the man, Davis did call emergency services, but she refused to get out of the car and help him. According to
The Standard newspaper, Magistrate John Lesser revoked the girl’s license for nine months and fined her $4,500. Unsurprisingly Davis took to social media immediately after the sentencing, telling friends on Facebook, “Never speed or do bad things so you lose your license kiddies! This sucks.”

Dateline: Poland

Police in Warsaw say an alleged burglar tried to hide his crime by swallowing the evidence. Dariusz Piotrowski, 39, was arrested and taken to jail after he fled a house burglary. A police doctor was called in after Piotrowski complained of stomach pains. After an initial examination, the medic was confused about the cause of the discomfort and called for an x-ray. The scan revealed more than a dozen metallic objects in the suspect’s stomach. “Officers lost sight of him briefly after chasing him, but then found him hiding in the bushes of a garden of a nearby house,” a police spokesperson said. “It was while he was crouched down in the shrubbery that he probably took the opportunity to try to mask his crime by eating the objects he had stolen.” It took surgeons several hours to remove the objects, which included several lighters, six watches, a fork, a spoon, nail clippers and a fountain pen. The unusual case was reported on the Facebook page of the Polish Anaesthetics’ Society, which pointed out, “The patient was referred by the court to undergo psychiatric treatment.”

Dateline: England

North Korea is apparently pissed off at a west London barbershop for poking fun at dictator Kim Jong-un’s haircut. According to the UK’s
Telegraph, staff at M&M Hair Academy in South Ealing, London, put up a poster with the North Korean dictator’s photograph and the words “Bad Hair Day?” The poster was intended as a cheeky advertisement for cheap men’s haircuts in the month of April. “We didn’t realize but the North Korean embassy is a 10 minute walk from the salon,” barber Karim Nabbach told the newspaper. “The next day we had North Korean officials pop into the salon asking to speak to the manager. He said, ‘Listen, this isn’t North Korea, this is England, we live in a democracy, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to get out of my salon.’” Both the salon and the embassy spoke to police, but no offense was reported.

Dateline: New Jersey

A “computer glitch” is being blamed after a German Shepherd was ordered to report for jury duty in New Jersey’s Cumberland County. Bridgeton resident Barrett Griner IV said he got a jury summons earlier this month addressed to “IV Griner,” the name of his 5-year-old dog. Mark Sprock, the local trial court administrator, told reporters a computer most likely misread Griner’s numerical suffix IV as his first name. Griner, 40, says he plans to call the court offices and get the canine summons sorted out. “I hope that the judge finds it kind of humorous,” said Griner. “That’s all I need is to have the local county and judge think I’m making a mockery of his courtroom.”

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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