Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: Spain

A comedy club in Barcelona has allegedly increased its bottom line after introducing a pay-per-laugh system. The Teatreneu Club is experimenting with an innovative facial recognition system that charges users based on how much they laugh during a show. Tablet computers attached to the backs of seats measure how often an individual customer laughs. Patrons are charged .30 euros (about 38 cents) per chuckle, with a cap of 24 euros ($30.60). The system was introduced after increased government taxes on tickets caused sales to plummet. Owners say individual ticket revenues have increased 6 euros ($7.70) since initiating the new system.

Dateline: Connecticut

John Thornton, 30, has been charged with breach of peace, accused of what the police report called “mopping aggressively.” The incident took place on the night of Monday, Oct. 13, at the Double Tree Hotel in Bristol. Thornton, of Southington, apparently didn’t like the cleanup job being done by a female employee. Investigators say he became “unruly,” took away the employee’s mop and went to town on the hotel’s lobby. Police spokesperson Lt. Donn Watson told the
Connecticut Patch that Thornton “began to mop the floor but became more aggressive and mopped over the employee’s shoes several times.” The employee repeatedly asked Thornton to stop mopping, but he backed her into a corner. By the time police arrived around 6:30pm, the victim was “shaken and crying.” She told police she wished to press charges against Thornton. Initially, Thornton was charged with breach of peace. While being transported, however, he allegedly shouted insults and threatened bodily harm to the arresting officers. He was then charged with second degree threatening.

Dateline: Illinois

Police in Chicago say a fleeing suspect tried to lose officers by blending in to the Chicago Marathon. Bryan Duffy, 29, allegedly ran away from officers when they approached him on Sunday, Oct. 12. According to WLS-TV, Duffy jumped into a group of marathon runners navigating Chicago’s State Street and tried to make an escape. Officers ultimately relocated Duffy and tackled him. According to police reports, Duffy was found with 10 capsules of MDMA, commonly known as ecstasy, and charged with possession of a controlled substance and resisting arrest. He was also charged with reckless conduct for endangering the marathon runners.

Dateline: Florida

WTVT-13 in Tampa is reporting a teenager has been arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure after he allegedly had sex with a stuffed animal inside a Walmart store. Police say 19-year-old Sean Johnson was caught on surveillance video just before 3pm on Oct. 14 performing a sex act on a stuffed horse and then putting it back on the shelf. Police said the item was “contaminated and unsellable.” Johnson left the store, located in Brooksville, immediately after contaminating the stuffed toy, but was caught by police a short time later. He reportedly admitted to the incident. Johnson was booked into the Hernando County jail on a $1,500 bond.

Dateline: Minnesota

A drunken zombie Santa was arrested for breaking into a home in St. Paul. Around 9:45pm on Saturday, Oct. 11, police say 21-year-old University of St. Thomas student Brock Quinn Johnson entered the unlocked front door of a residence dressed as an undead Santa Claus, scared the residents, vomited and passed out. A neighbor told WCCO-TV a 14-year-old boy fled from the St. Paul home calling for help, while his 16-year-old sister locked herself in a bathroom and called their parents. Police found Johnson asleep inside the house in the aftermath of an epic Zombie Pub Crawl in Minneapolis. The event drew an estimated 35,000 people, breaking a Guinness World record for the most people dressed as zombies. The teens’ father said the kids were unharmed, but that no one in his family “will ever think of Santa the same way.”

Dateline: Delaware

Andrew Walls, 32, of Magnolia is suing a hospital after he woke up from anesthetic wearing a pair of pink panties—which he insists are not his. Walls says he went in for a routine colonoscopy and was subjected to an “outrageous prank” by employees at the Delaware Surgery Center in Dover. Walls, who used to work at the center, says the incident caused him “shame, embarrassment and personal humiliation,” forcing him to quit his job because of “severe emotional stress.” According to civil lawsuit papers obtained by
The New Journal of Wilmington, “When the plaintiff initially presented for his colonoscopy, he had not been wearing pink women’s underwear and at no time did the plaintiff voluntarily, knowingly or intentionally place the pink underwear upon himself.” The Delaware Surgery Center has yet to comment on the lawsuit.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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