Dateline: IndiaAn executive engineer at the Central Public Works Department was finally fired after skipping work for 24 years. According to a government statement, A.K. Verma “went on seeking extension of leave, which was not sanctioned, and defied directions to report to work.” The last time Verma showed up to his job was in 1990. An inquiry in 1992 found the man guilty of “willful absence from duty.” However, thanks to India’s notoriously inefficient labor laws, it took another 22 years and the intervention of a cabinet minister to remove Mr. Verma. Urban Development Minister M. Venkaiah Naidu ordered the engineer’s dismissal in order to “streamline the functioning of CPWD and to ensure accountability.” Let that be a lesson to any other Indian workers who want to call in sick for more than 20 years straight.Dateline: New JerseyPolice in Vineland say a man who nearly struck a police K9 unit shortly after midnight on Jan. 1 told them it was no big deal because, “everyone drives drunk” on New Year’s Eve. Daniel Pratts was cited for drunk driving following the incident. According to the police report, an officer spotted Pratts blow through a stop sign and speed toward a vehicle in front of him. The vehicle Pratts nearly hit at the intersection turned out to belong to K9 officer Dwight Adams. According to The Daily Journal, Pratts denied drinking any alcohol on New Year’s Eve, but struggled with several field sobriety tests and refused to take a breath test. He was taken to the local police headquarters where he was processed. It was there he told another officer, “It’s New Year’s Eve. Everyone drives drunk.”Dateline: FloridaA man wearing an “I Have Drugs” t-shirt was arrested for—not so surprisingly—having drugs. John Balmer, 50, was detained at a Kmart in Hudson while wearing a t-shirt that read, “WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs.” Balmer was waiting in line at the store when an officer from the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office walked in. Balmer allegedly tried to hand a “bag of green leafy substance” to the person in line behind him. The person refused and summoned the officer. Balmer was searched and found to be in possession of marijuana and meth. He was charged on two counts of drug possession of no more than 20 grams. The Pasco County Sheriff’s Office posted a picture of Balmer on its Faceboook page with the caption, “Pay close attention to the t-shirt.”Dateline: FloridaA man allegedly became so angry over a psychic prediction involving his grandmother and a sex toy that he smashed up his girlfriend’s car. According to TCPalm.com, 28-year-old Vero Beach resident Casey Molter got into an altercation with his girlfriend last November. Molter broke the passenger side mirror, deflated the tires and covered the windows of his girlfriend’s 1997 Nissan Altima in hand lotion and a used condom. When police asked why he attacked the vehicle, Molter said his girlfriend is a “spiritual person” and can “tell a person about their dreams.” The unnamed woman apparently told Molter his deceased grandmother was about to appear to him in a dream and that she was going to “commit an unusual sex act on him involving an adult erotic device.” According to the police report, “Molter said that he could not get the image out of his head and he snapped.” Molter was arrested on criminal mischief charges and is due in court in late January.Dateline: IllinoisA 75-year-old man from Granite City discovered the source of his mysterious arm pain—the turn signal from a Ford Thunderbird he wrecked in 1963. Surgeons operated on Arthur Lampitt earlier this month and pulled a seven-inch turn signal from his swollen arm. “We see all kinds of foreign objects like nails or pellets, but usually not this large, usually not a turn signal from a 1963 T-Bird,” Dr. Timothy Lang told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Lampitt broke his hip in the auto accident more than 50 years ago, so the injury to his arm was largely overlooked. It wasn’t until about a decade ago, when Lampitt set off a courthouse metal detector, that X-rays revealed the presence of a pencil-sized object. Since it wasn’t causing pain, he left it alone. Recently, however, the arm became inflamed, and doctors were forced to operate. Doctors let Lampitt keep the old car part, but he hasn’t decided what to do with it. “We’ll figure out something, I am sure,” he said.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
