Dateline: FranceA blind man admitted in court that it was he, not his guide dog, who bit a drug dealer. The Ouest France daily reports the man testified to the attack in the city of Brest. The unnamed man said the drug dealer, realizing he was blind, tried to sell him lawn clippings instead of actual marijuana for 100 euros. The two men ended up in a brawl, leaving the blind man needing stitches in his ear and the accused drug dealer with bite marks. “It was me who bit him, not my dog,” confessed the man. “Guide dogs are not attack dogs.” The fraudulent drug dealer was sentenced to wear an electronic monitoring bracelet for four months.Dateline: WashingtonDavid Lingafelter might not be a successful robber, but he gets points for style. Lingafelter, 22, was arrested in Olympia on Wednesday, April 8, for allegedly robbing a Subway restaurant and stuffing the loot into a white canvas bag marked with a large, black “$” sign. According to the City of Olympia website, employees of the Subway saw a man with a red bandanna around his face enter the restaurant. The man ordered the employees not to “do anything funny” and reached into his pocket as if he had a weapon. He took the cash from the register, swiped a phone from one of the employees, stuffed them into his homemade robbery sack and fled. Officers located the suspect at a nearby Grocery Outlet and gave chase. Shortly thereafter, an officer found Lingafelter hiding behind a dumpster. Searching Lingafelter, they found a knife in his pocket, $100 in cash and a smartphone that matched the description of the employee’s missing phone. Tied to the front of Lingafelter’s pants was a white canvas sack with a conspicuous dollar sign printed on it in black magic marker. The suspect refused to give his identity, but officers later identified him from a booking picture at Thurston County Jail. Lingafelter has been charged with robbery and obstructing.Dateline: FloridaPolice in Melbourne say a man was high on the synthetic drug flakka when he ran nude, claimed to be the Norse god Thor and attempted to have sex with a tree. According to the Florida Today website, 41-year-old Kenneth Crowder was spotted by witnesses running naked through a Melbourne neighborhood yelling that he was a god before “committing a sexual act on a nearby tree.” When police arrived, the suspect was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but refused to be taken into custody. According to the police report, one officer deployed a Taser several times, but Crowder—loudly insisting that he was the Norse god of thunder, “Thor”—pulled the Taser probes out of his body and continued to fight. A police spokesperson said, “The officer is doing fine. The suspect tried to stab [the officer] with his own badge. [Crowder] somehow pulled it off his uniform.” Several other officers eventually arrived and helped subdue Crowder. He was later charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, assault, aggravated assault and resisting with violence.Dateline: GeorgiaA man in rural Lee County says he was shooting at an armadillo when he “accidentally” struck his mother in law. Larry McElroy, 54, told local media he was about 100 yards from his mobile home aiming at a trespassing armadillo when he fired his 9mm pistol. According to WALB-TV, the bullet bounced off the armor-plated animal, hit a fence, went through the back door of the mobile home and struck 74-year-old Carol Johnson. Johnson was taken to a nearby hospital. Her injuries were described as “not serious.” So far no charges have been filed. Bill Smith, an investigator with the Lee Country Sheriff’s Office, told the TV station, “Just the circumstances—just all the way around—the whole situation was unusual.” Dateline: WashingtonPolice in Washington state have located a family’s vacation cabin that went missing. The cabin was apparently stolen off its foundation and hauled away on a flatbed truck by people who intended to live in it. The Stevens County Sheriff’s Office said deputies found the missing log cabin in a rural area near Springdale after receiving tips. “It was stolen,” confirmed Stevens County Sheriff Kendle Allen. “We do have suspects.” The prefabricated 10-foot by 20-foot cabin was found some 10 miles from where it disappeared, sitting on a makeshift foundation. The family who lost it said the building disappeared sometime in March, about two weeks after they last used it.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
