Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
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Dateline: China

A Chinese billionaire showed off his wealth by using social media to post pictures of the two gold Apple Watches he purchased for his dog. Last week Wang Sicong, the 27-year-old son of Chinese real estate tycoon Wang Jianlin, posted pictures on Weibo, China’s version of Twitter, of his pet Siberian Husky wearing the expensive watches on his front paws. The caption on one of the photos read, “I have new watches! I’m supposed to have four watches since I have four long legs. But that seems too uncouth so I kept it down to two, which totally fits my status. Do you have one?” Digitaltrends.com estimated the gold-covered models the dog, known as Wang Ke, was sporting sell for more than $12,000 apiece. According to Bloomberg News rankings, Sicong’s father is the richest man in Asia, with a net worth of $38.6 billion.

Dateline: Kenya

A Kenyan lawyer has allegedly offered President Barack Obama 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats in exchange for first daughter Malia Obama’s hand in marriage. The Nairobi man, identified as Felix Kiprono, says he became interested in the president’s daughter when she was only 10. “I got interested in her in 2008. As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price,” Kiprono told
The Nairobian newspaper. Kiprono hopes the now 16-year-old Malia will accompany her father on an upcoming trip to Kenya so he can seal the deal. “People might say I am after the family’s money, which is not the case. My love is real,” said Kiprono. “I am currently drafting a letter to Obama asking him to please have Malia accompany him for this trip. I hope the embassy will pass the letter to him. I will hand it over to the US Ambassador with whom we have interacted several times.”

Dateline: Oregon

A resident of Pendleton, a small city in central Umatilla County, has sent a letter to his local city council asking them to ban “fart smells.” The letter, signed Peter Walters, was published in the
East Oregonian newspaper and is believed to be in response to the city’s most recent law regarding marijuana. In May the City of Pendleton updated its nuisance ordinances to cover the smell of marijuana. Thanks to the passage of Oregon’s Measure 91, the use of recreational marijuana will become legal beginning July 1, 2015. Thanks to Pendleton’s measures, however, a person can be fined up to $500 if someone complains they can smell marijuana coming from that person’s property. In the open letter, Walters wrote, “It was with great relief Thursday when I read in the East Oregonian that Pendleton’s city council took the time to pass an amendment to the city’s nuisance ordinance banning marijuana odor. Clearly, there has been no issue of greater importance facing the city. Now that this important work has been completed I hope that the council will move on to restricting the other offensive smell that plagues our community: farts.” Walters went on to argue that “some habitual farters argue that they need to fart for medical reasons but that doesn’t mean my kids should have to smell their farts.”

Dateline: New Jersey

In a delicious bit of irony, a man by the name of Bacon allegedly got into a beef with someone over a piece of sausage. According to NJ.com, Madison Police Officer Lisa Esposito arrived at the home of 19-year-old Thomas Bacon around 3:30am on May 12 after a report of a dispute. Esposito soon determined Bacon had allegedly assaulted another person in the house for eating the last piece of sausage. Bacon was charged with simple assault and released pending an upcoming appearance in Madison Municipal Court.

Dateline: Florida

According to the
Daytona Beach News-Journal, twin 52-year-old brothers are facing identical charges after attacking each other with bricks during a family argument. Orange City police say Michael and James Remelius were arguing with each other in the front yard of a home in the 600 block of Howard Avenue about 8:45pm on Tuesday, May 19, when Michael picked up a brick and threatened to throw it at his brother. James responded by picking up a brick of his own and threatening to throw it at his brother. The official police report goes on to say that Michael threw his brick, hitting James in the leg. James threw his brick, hitting Michael in the right eye. The battling brothers were both charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and taken to Volusia County Branch Jail.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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