Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
Dateline: FloridaPolice in Boynton Beach say a man was arrested after he stole a car and then tried to sell it back to the owner for $200. Tom Funicello’s 1998 Toyota Camry went missing from his home on June 11. Two weeks later he got a call from Marquis Whipple of Riviera Beach offering to sell the car back to him for the bargain price of $200. “I was like ‘what?’ I couldn’t believe it,” Funicello told WFTV-9. “He probably realized he couldn’t sell it, so he thought he would just sell it back to me.” Funicello agreed to purchase the vehicle then immediately called Boynton Beach police. Funicello scheduled a meeting with Whipple on Wednesday, June 24, to hand over the car. “He’s telling me I better not be setting him up,” Funicello said. “He says to me, ‘I called you. I’m being the Good Samaritan here.’” Unfortunately for Whipple, it was a setup. Police were waiting for him when he showed up with the Camry. Whipple initially claimed he bought the car from an unknown person for $400 and did not know it was stolen, according to police. He later admitted he knew it was stolen and simply wanted to return it to Funicello because “he believed he was doing a good deed.” Whipple was taken to Palm Beach County Jail on charges of grand theft auto and later released on $7,500 bond.Dateline: New JerseyA Philadelphia man who robbed an Atlantic City bank is now charged with committing the exact same crime five years later. Authorities say 54-year-old Keith Ney was released from prison on Dec. 9 for robbing the Cape Bank in Atlantic City as well as the Citizens Bank in Philadelphia back in 2010. He received a four-year, nine-month prison term for the crime. Four months after being released from prison, Ney returned to the Cape Bank, handed a teller a note saying he had a gun and fled with $164 in cash. Ney left the bank on foot and was immediately spotted and taken into custody by a K9 officer in the area. Ney admitted to holding up the Cape Bank. He went on to confess he had robbed the Citizens Bank office in Philadelphia the day before—just as he had back in 2010. At the time of his second crime spree, Ney was still on supervised release. According to court papers, Ney told arresting officers, “Yeah, I did it. I wanna go back to jail.” Ney is likely to get his wish. He is due in court on July 14 and faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted on the bank robbery charge. He also faces an additional two years for violating the terms of his supervised release.Dateline: OhioScore one for the grammar Nazis. An appeals court has agreed with an Ohio woman who argued her parking citation should be tossed for lack of a comma. Andrea Cammelleri says she shouldn’t have been issued a citation in 2014 based on the wording of a new law enacted by the village of West Jefferson. The law was intended to prevent vehicles from being parked on city streets longer than 24 hours. The law, as written, says it is illegal to park on a village street “any motor vehicle camper, trailer, farm implement and/or non-motorized vehicle for a continued period of twenty-four hours.” The law should clearly have read “motor vehicle, camper.” But since the comma was missing, Cammelleri argued that her pickup truck did not fit the description and was not applicable. The village says the law’s meaning is clear in context, but Judge Robert Hendrickson of the 12th Ohio District Court of Appeals vacated the charges against Cammelleri, saying, “If the village desires a different reading, it should amend the ordinance and insert a comma.”Dateline: PennsylvaniaA race track at the Presque Isle Downs & Casino is making changes to prevent wild deer from inadvertently competing. Officials were forced to cancel several races on Sunday, June 28, when a deer ran in front of horses during the day’s fourth race. Races were also canceled on Monday and Tuesday. “We’re taking this very seriously,” casino vice president and general manager Jeff Favre told reporters. “The last thing we want is a jockey or horse to get hurt due to deer.” A group of five deer interrupted a race on June 22 as well, prompting officials to cancel several races. The track plans to remove nearby bushes and trees in an attempt to keep animals away. In addition the fence around the track will be raised, and start time on races has been pushed forward to 3:05pm, which will avoid racing at dusk when the deer are more active.