Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: China

According to local Chinese media, firefighters responded to a call of a child locked in a car in the city of Yiwu. The
Wall Street Journal said the emergency workers found a 17-month-old boy “sitting in the driver’s seat of the car, crying and prying at the glass.” By the time the firefighters arrived, the boy had been stuck in the car for about an hour. Firefighters decided to break the glass on the car, an expensive BMW, but as a witness told Asia’s Straits Times, “the mother insisted that they wait for a locksmith to unlock the car door as she did not want to damage the car.” The firefighters ignored her and smashed the window. “It is very dangerous to leave kids inside the car, especially in such heat,” one firefighter was quoted as saying. The Wall Street Journal quoted a Chinese survey conducted last year saying Asian drivers view BMW drivers as “newly rich, materialistic showoffs.”

Dateline: Massachusetts

Boston Mayor Martin Walsh announced on Tuesday, July 14, the last of Boston’s winter snow has finally melted away. More than 110 inches of snow were dumped on the city over the course of a record-setting winter. One particular tower of filthy snow, scraped from Boston streets, had been accumulated into a 75-foot tower. Trapped in the massive snow pile was 80 tons of garbage, caught up in snowplows after two massive snowstorms buried the city’s curbside trash. The persistent pile of precipitation prompted Mayor Walsh to hold a contest for who could guess when it would finally disappear. The winner was announced last week.

Dateline: Tennessee

Here’s yet another thing conservatives can blame President Obama for: A woman in Tennessee was arrested for trying to pass counterfeit money, but she told officers Obama had made the practice legal. Pamela Downs, 45, was arrested after an incident at a convenience store in Kingsport. According to the police report, Downs tried to give the cashier a suspicious-looking $5 bill. The bill appeared to have been printed on a home printer, and the two sides of the bill were separate pieces of paper glued together. Downs told police she received the bill as change at a gas station and never inspected it. Unfortunately, when police searched her purse, they found a fake $100 bill. According to the
Kingsport Times-News, the bill was printed in black and white, and the back was glued on upside down. Police also found receipts from Walmart for a printer and copy paper. At that point, Downs was arrested and charged with counterfeiting. Officers said when Downs was at the jail, she said she read an article online about a law that allowed people on fixed incomes to print their own money. “I Don’t give a shit! All these other bitches get to print money, so I can too,” she allegedly told police. It is believed Downs was referring to a 2009 article titled “Obama Wants Citizens to Print Their Own Money” from The Skunk, a new parody website that claims to offer “Tasteless American Satire for the Ill-Informed.” A later search of Downs’ home turned up more crudely made money totaling between $30,000 and $50,000.

Dateline: Pennsylvania

A naked man found drinking in his neighbor’s hog barn told police, “I just like pigs.” Police in Manor Township in rural Lancaster County say 64-year-old Larry Henry was caught at about 10:15pm on June 26 having a beer among the pigs, in the nude. Arrest papers show Henry had been banned from the farm since he got caught trespassing there four years ago. Police say Henry smelled of alcohol and acknowledged drinking a six-pack of beer while hanging with the hogs. The best part: Henry’s drink of choice that evening was Hamm’s. He was charged with trespassing, public drunkenness and indecent exposure.

Dateline: California

Police in Placerville say they have arrested a man accused of exposing himself a few minutes after he registered as a sex offender. According to the
Sacramento Bee, 51-year-old Esteban Rocha reported to the Placerville Police Department in early June to register as a sex offender as required by state law and as a condition of his parole. Less than 25 minutes later, Rocha was arrested after police received a 911 call reporting a man matching Rocha’s description exposing himself to a woman outside the police station. Rocha was identified by the woman and arrested. He was booked into El Dorado County Jail for a parole violation and on suspicion of committing indecent exposure with prior convictions.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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