Dateline: GermanyPolice say thieves broke into a liquor store in Mülheim an der Ruhr and popped open a cold, frosty one—1,200 of them, actually. Earlier this month shop owners found their store broken into and more than 1,000 bottles of König Pilsener beer opened but otherwise untouched. Initially, investigators were confused to find the opened bottles stacked neatly inside their crates, leaving the unconsumed beer to spoil. Officials from König Brewery pointed out, however, that the bottle caps had prize tokens printed on them. The thieves were likely trying to win Black & Decker tools, Bose speakers and other giveaways. Hundreds of non-winning “Good luck, try again” caps were left strewn across the shop’s floor. König Brewery spokesperson Marc Baron said he found it “quite incredible” that someone would steal bottle caps. “We have no way to track where the bottle caps were sold—or in this case stolen—but we will now watch for someone who sends in an unusually high number of caps.” Police have no suspect, but believe—based on the sheer number of beers opened—more than one person was involved.Dateline: KentuckyA drunk man admitted trying to dig up his father’s grave—so that dear old dad could finally go to Heaven. Michael May is charged with violating a grave, possession of marijuana and public intoxication after he was found inside a graveyard at the Pilot Baptist Church south of Stanford. Late on the evening of Monday, Aug. 17, Lincoln County Constable Delbert Mitchell spotted May’s truck parked outside the church and went into the cemetery to investigate. “I went back and hollered for him to step back in the light, and he told me to step back to the dark. That’s when I went and got my flashlight. He started hollering out [Bible] verses at me,” Constable Mitchell told LEX-18 News. “He told me he was trying to dig his dad up, so his dad could go to Heaven.” Interviewed later at Lincoln County Jail by LEX-18 reporter Josh Breslow, May said he did not feel he was violating a grave. “I see the truth,” he told the reporter. “He needs to be on the ground, not under it.” May’s father died nearly four decades ago. Even though May was “under the influence” at the time of the incident, officials are worried he might try again. “It’s a possibility,” conceded May. “If the truth doesn’t come out and nobody sees the truth, yeah, I’ll do it again.”Dateline: IndianaThe bride made it to the church on time, but the groom was a no-show. That didn’t stop a 38-year-old woman from marrying Jesus Christ earlier this month in Fort Wayne. CBS News affiliate WANE-15 reports hundreds of people gathered at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception to witness Jessica Hayes become the Fort Wayne-South Bend Diocese’s first consecrated virgin in 25 years. Hayes’ biggest worry was finding an appropriate wedding dress. “I’ve seen so many wedding dresses over the years that I think I’ve probably changed my mind very many times,” she told WANE. “I had to really consider the appropriateness of the occasion for my dress. I wanted my shoulders to be covered, and I would have to lie prostrate before the altar, so I really wanted to make sure that I was well-covered in a way that still shows the beauty of a bride.” As a bride of Jesus, Hayes will live a life of “perpetual virginity,” serve the church and perform “works of mercy” while still living in the secular world. The process of marrying Jesus is evidently rare, with only 200 consecrated virgins in the United States. Jesus, on the other hand, is quite the player. The polygamist Son of God has more than 3,000 wives worldwide, according to the United States Association of Consecrated Virgins. Dateline: CaliforniaA shirtless, mud-covered man claiming to be the Lord of the Jungle was arrested after causing an uproar at the Santa Ana Zoo. Police received a 911 call on the morning of Aug. 4 in which zoo director Kent Yamaguchi informed them, “We have a gentleman who appears to be under the influence of something and is climbing into trees and jumping in animal exhibits.” Asked if the “gentleman” in question had said anything to anyone, Yamaguchi replied, “Um, he’s shouting at people that he’s Tarzan.” Santa Ana police briefly chased the man—who turned out not to be the fictional Tarzan, Earl of Greystoke and Lord of the Apes, but a 37-year old named John William Rodenborn. The man was arrested while allegedly trying to climb several monkey enclosures. “He didn’t make any animal sounds,” Yamaguchi later said. “He was just sort of enjoying himself in the trees.” No animals were injured. Rodenborn later tested positive for methamphetamine.