Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
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Dateline: Virginia (May)

A 23-year-old man was arrested after he posted videos and pictures of himself robbing a bank on Instagram. Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca was arrested 22 minutes after he allegedly used a note to rob the TowneBank in Virginia Beach. That still gave him enough time to upload two videos and a photograph of the note he used to the internet. Alfonseca’s note read, “I need $150,000 bands right NOW!! Please. Police take 3 to 4 minutes to get here, I would appreciate if you Ring the alarm a minute after I am gone… make sure the money doesn’t blow up on my way out.” Alfonseca, who identifies himself as an aspiring rapper, told WTKR-TV in Hampton Roads that he did not rob the bank but merely asked “politely” for money. “I don’t know how I’m a robber because I asked for it,” said Alfonseca. “She could have said no, and I could have left.” Alfonseca also used the television interview to give shout-outs to Michelle Obama, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga.

Dateline: China (June)

A man is suing well-known actress Zhao Wei because she “stared at him too intently” through his TV set. Zhao is one of China’s most famous movie stars and appears on the prime-time TV show “Tiger Mom,” about a strong-willed woman who pushes her daughter to do better in school. According to England’s Sky News, Shanghai Pudong New District Court’s litigation service hotline has confirmed it received a case against the actress under new laws that make it easier to file lawsuits. Since the laws were streamlined, Chinese courts have seen a 29 percent increase in the number of lawsuits. The
Legal Daily newspaper said the man is alleging Zhao’s stare caused him “spiritual damage.”

Dateline: Kentucky (August)

A drunk man admitted trying to dig up his father’s grave—so that dear old dad could finally go to Heaven. Michael May is charged with violating a grave, possession of marijuana and public intoxication after he was found inside a graveyard at the Pilot Baptist Church south of Stanford. Late on the evening of Monday, Aug. 17, Lincoln County Constable Delbert Mitchell spotted May’s truck parked outside the church and went into the cemetery to investigate. “I went back and hollered for him to step back in the light, and he told me to step back to the dark. That’s when I went and got my flashlight. He started hollering out [Bible] verses at me,” Constable Mitchell told LEX-18 News. “He told me he was trying to dig his dad up, so his dad could go to Heaven.” Interviewed later at Lincoln County Jail by LEX-18 reporter Josh Breslow, May said he did not feel he was violating a grave. “I see the truth,” he told the reporter. “He needs to be on the ground, not under it.” May’s father died nearly four decades ago. Even though May was “under the influence” at the time of the incident, officials are worried he might try again. “It’s a possibility,” conceded May. “If the truth doesn’t come out and nobody sees the truth, yeah, I’ll do it again.”

Dateline: South Carolina (October)

According to police in Spartanburg, a man called 911 to complain his girlfriend would not have sex with him. Patrick Doggett, 53, called emergency services and told dispatchers his partner, Faye Woodruff, “would not give him any ass.” Officers responded to Doggett’s home in the early morning hours of Oct. 6. Doggett explained to officers he had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at,” according to the police report. He is believed to have climbed into bed with Woodruff and requested sex, but Woodruff refused because her grandchild was present. “Fuck that bitch,” Doggett told officers. He was arrested for public intoxication and taken to the Spartanburg County Detention Center.

Dateline: Florida (October)

A 23-year-old woman was arrested after web-streaming her DUI live on the internet. Whitney Beall, left a party in Lakeland on the night of Oct. 9. According to police she was intoxicated and should not have been driving. They know this because Beall used her cell phone to live stream her drive home via broadcasting service Periscope. “I’m fucking drunk,” she declares on the broadcast, audibly slurring her words. She also notes several times that her vehicle has a flat tire. In a Facebook post, Lakeland PD says it “began receiving 911 calls from viewers of Periscope about a possible drunk driver using the social media app Periscope to broadcast herself.” The post goes on to note that, “as a result of the video being streamed worldwide, numerous text messages were sent to the driver asking her to stop driving before she killed someone or herself.” The Lakeland Police Department said it does not provide officers “access to Periscope as an authorized software tool,” but one officer used his personal account to locate the driver. Based on his observations, the officer eventually found Beall driving her 2015 Toyota—complete with flat front tire—eastbound on Carpenter’s Way. As the officer approached, Beall’s vehicle “abruptly hit the south curb with the right front tire/wheel.” The driver failed standardized field sobriety tests, refused to take a breathalyzer test and was arrested on charges of DUI.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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