Dateline: FloridaA 36-year-old man allegedly tried to open a bank account, but didn’t have enough money—so he robbed the place instead. The Pasco County Sheriff’s Office alleges Steve Leon Coley Jr. entered the Bank of America in Port Richey at 1:43pm on the afternoon of Wednesday, Jan. 6. The suspect handed his Florida driver’s license to the teller for identification and tried to open an account. The man was told he needed at least $25 to start the account, which he did not have on him. So he left. At 2:47pm, the man returned and demanded money from the teller. According to WTPS-10 News, he left again with an undisclosed amount of cash. A short time later, a responding deputy spotted Coley walking down the street counting money. He matched the description of the bank robber and the amount of money he had on him matched exactly the amount stolen. He was arrested and booked into the Land O’ Lakes Detention Center.Dateline: South CarolinaA woman is facing a string of criminal charges after police in Myrtle Beach say she bit the finger of a Walmart employee who was trying to stop her from shoplifting panties and lube. Carolynn Wright, 23, was arrested on the morning of Sunday, Jan. 10, after loss prevention officers allegedly saw her swipe items worth $40.07. Among the items taken: condoms, lubricant and panties. When two employees tried to stop Wright from leaving the store, she allegedly punched one of them in the head and bit off a portion of the other’s finger. A woman who witnessed the fight told police she tried to call 911, but Wright grabbed her phone. Wright was charged with aggravated assault and shoplifting. According to WYFF-4 News, EMS responders were unable to reattach the Walmart employee’s fingertip. Wright—who was described by several news outlets as a “former stripper”—is no stranger to weird news stories, having been arrested in March of 2015 for beating and stabbing a fellow dancer with “a clear plastic high-heeled shoe” in the bathroom of Myrtle Beach’s Chez Joey strip club.Dateline: CaliforniaA man in Hesperia is accused of stealing some 7,500 pounds of expired candy and then selling it in his garage. San Bernardino County sheriff’s officials told the The Press-Enterprise newspaper 35-year-old Jesus N. Ibarra was arrested on Jan. 7 at his home and booked for investigation of a grand theft of cargo and possessing stolen property. Earlier this year Excel Corporation, the West Coast distributor for Mars Candy Company, contracted a trucking company to haul a load of candy that “hadn’t passed inspection” to a San Bernardino location for destruction. When the truck arrived, about 7,500 pounds were missing. Deputies investigating the case eventually saw a Craigslist ad for High Desert Deals. This prompted a police search of owner Jesus Ibarra’s home. According to the sheriff’s office, “investigators discovered the entire garage had been converted into a candy store with approximately 30 racks of candy.” The candy was even labeled and priced. After confirming that the serial numbers on the candy boxes matched those in the missing shipment, Ibarra was arrested.Dateline: Rhode IslandA government official in the city of Cranston resigned her position after dressing a male bus driver as a female senior citizen in order to pad out the crowd for a news conference. Cranston mayor Allan W. Fung’s office said 56-year-old Sue Stenhouse, executive director of the city’s Senior Enrichment Program, handed in her resignation earlier this month after allegation emerged she had the man dress as an elderly woman, complete with dress, jewelry, makeup and a nametag reading, “Cranston Senior Home Resident.” The obvious deception stood out in footage and photos from a Jan. 5 news conference attended by Stenhouse and Mayor Fung regarding the creation of a student snow-shoveling brigade to help poor and infirm older people. Stenhouse allegedly had the man dress up in order to make it seem like she had the support of local seniors. According to the Providence Journal, Stenhouse—a Republican and former member of the Warwick City Council—remains a member of the Warwick Planning Board.Dateline: MinnesotaA grieving—and apparently drunk—Minnesota Vikings fan was arrested after he broke into the police department headquarters at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds thinking it was his house. “He went in and thought he was at home,” State Fair police spokesperson Brooke Blakey told the Star Tribune. Blakey said the 30-year-old man “appeared to be under the influence of alcohol and was tailgating at the fairgrounds before he entered the station.” Patrol officers responded to a possible burglary call at the substation and found the confused Vikings fan relaxing inside. Earlier in the evening, the Vikings lost their NFL wild card bid to the Seattle Seahawks, 10-9. The tailgater was booked into the Ramsey County Jail and later released. Trespassing charges are pending.