Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
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Dateline: Austria

Customs officials in the southern Austrian city of Graz are used to confiscating unusual items. But even veteran airport staff were shocked when a recent search turned up a hidden collection of human intestines. The Austrian Press Agency reports the organs were found packed tightly in plastic containers and formaldehyde in luggage belonging to a Moroccan woman. She allegedly told police she brought the intestines of her dead husband to Austria to have them examined because she believed he had been poisoned. Pathologist Gerald Hoefler told state broadcasters that authorities in Morocco listed the man’s cause of death as intestinal obstruction. The woman was evidently allowed to keep her husband’s organs, which are now being subject to a pathological analysis.

Dateline: Australia

A 21-year-old man is being deemed “the most unlucky guy in the country” after he was bitten on the penis by a spider—for the second time in five months. The tradesman identified only as Jordan was bitten by what was believed to be a redback spider while using a portable toilet on a building site in Sydney. “I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time,” he told BBC News. Back in April Jordan was bitten on “pretty much the same spot” while using another portable toilet. “I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again’.” Jordan told reporters he even checked the portable toilet before copping a squat. “After the first time it happened, I didn’t really want to use one again,” he said. “Toilets got cleaned that day, and I thought it was my opportunity to go use one. Had a look under both seats and then I sat down to do my business. Next thing you know, I’m bent over in pain.” While appearing on the “Kyle and Jackie O” show on KIIS FM in Los Angeles, Jordan compared the two spider bites. “This one is a bit sorer. It seems it got a better shot this time,” he told the radio personalities. “It’s redder, a bit more swollen. It hurts a bit more.” Jordan, who got tetanus and antivenom shots, indicated he will return to work soon, but will probably give up using portable toilets in the future.

Dateline: England

King Arthur Pendragon is suing the Wiltshire City Council, English Heritage and Wiltshire Police for forcing him to pay to park his car at Stonehenge. Pendragon, a practicing druid who believes himself to be the reincarnation of the mythical King Arthur told the
Salisbury Journal he decided to challenge authorities because of what he called an “affront against my and many people’s religion, that is paganism.” Stonehenge, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, currently charges £15 to park in the ancient monument’s parking lot. Motorists, King Arthur included, are prevented from parking alongside the motorway leading up to the parking lot. “I am banned from the site because I refuse to pay what I consider to be an illegal charge,” King Arthur said. “Because of this I will be suing Wiltshire Council, English Heritage and Wiltshire Police under articles 9, 10, 11 and 14 of the European Convention of Human Rights.” The reincarnated king said the various government agencies conspired to “make it impossible” for him to park, therefore preventing his ability to practice his religion. “I had to go home and did not celebrate the Solstice,” said the king. “For that, I intend to take them to court.” English Heritage corroborated the lawsuit, saying, “We can confirm that Mr. Pendragon is proceeding against us, and it would be inappropriate to comment while legal proceedings are ongoing.”

Dateline: Florida

Surprisingly, a person who offered $50,000 for the opportunity to punch notorious pharmaceutical CEO Martin Shkreli in his face has backed out of the deal. Shkreli had reportedly been auctioning off the opportunity to strike him in the facial area in order to raise funds for 5-year-old Tyler Kulich, son of Shkreli’s PR consultant Mike Kulich who recently died in his sleep. “I will auction one slap/punch in the face to benefit my friend Mike who passed away & leaves behind a young son who survived cancer,” he wrote on Twitter last month. On Wednesday, Sept. 28, Shkreli announced on Twitter that a woman named Katie had won the auction and promised to match her $50,000 donation. Unfortunately, as the 33-year-old businessman tweeted later on, “The woman who indicated she’d donate $50k the deceased’s family has reneged & turned her twitter on private. Would anyone like to replace her?” Shkreli made international headlines last year as chief of Turing Pharmaceuticals after he raised the price of the lifesaving drug Daraprim from $13.50 a pill to $750 overnight.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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