Dateline: SpainAccording to the U.K.’s Daily Mail, “The mysterious death of a British man at Malaga airport took a bizarre turn today after it emerged he was found with a slice of ham on each buttock and his genitals in an open tuna can.” Steven Allford, 51, was discovered face-down on a bench between the airport’s train station and the terminal building. One of his hands had been zip-tied to one end of the bench, while his leg was tied to the other end. His pants were pulled down. “There were no obvious signs of violence on his body, but the position he was found in suggested foul play,” a source close to the investigation told reporters. The source said police were trying to determine if the food items were put on the body by someone unrelated to the death as a “sick joke.” A security guard discovered the body shortly before 9am on Saturday, Oct. 22. By Monday, a post-mortem examination determined that Allford—who was evidently homeless—choked to death on his own vomit. Nonetheless, the Daily Mail reported that police arrested a Finnish man on suspicion of manslaughter in connection with the death. A source close to the case described the suspect as a “well-built giant.” It is not known what the suspect’s relationship, if any, was to the dead man.Dateline: CanadaAn extremely Canadian thief used a rope to break into a Canadian sporting goods store and commit the most Canadian of crimes—stealing more than $100,000 worth of hockey sticks. L’Expérience MonkeySports manager Greg Goyer told the CBC his security company contacted him about a break-in earlier this month. “There were no windows broken. The doors were locked,” Goyer said. “[But] the store had been cleared. There was a hole in the ceiling with a rope coming down. … I guess the individual had come through the roof.” Closed-circuit surveillance footage showed the thief rappelling down into the store and heading directly over to some expensive hockey equipment. “They knew exactly what they were coming in for,” Goyer said. The as-yet-unidentified burglar made off with more than 400 high-end hockey sticks worth at least $120,000.Dateline: ArkansasA former employee of an Arkansas county is facing numerous charges for allegedly using a government credit card to purchase approximately $200,000 worth of personal expenses—including a tuxedo for her dog. According to the criminal complaint against 43-year-old Kristi Goss, a former administrative assistant to Garland County Judge Rick Davis, Goss used the card to pay for her utility bills and make various non government-approved expenses. The Hot Springs Sentinel-Record reports the items allegedly bought by Goss include: clothing, sequined throw pillows, a diamond bracelet, $975 worth of Arkansas Razorback tickets and a dog tuxedo from Amazon.com. According to Valerie Dodge, the Garland County human resources director who helped research the charges, Goss purchased several items from Amazon, including a tuxedo for her dog, a pug. The purchase reportedly coincided with Goss’ children attending prom in the spring. Judge Davis fired Goss after an auditor noticed “discrepancies” on the government-issued credit card in May. Arkansas State Police opened an investigation in July, and Garland County Prosecuting Attorney Terri Harris filed charges in October. Goss is facing six felony counts of fraudulent use of a credit card. She faces between 3 and 20 years in prison for each count. Dateline: FloridaA Walmart in Ormond Beach turned out to be a one-stop shop for an alleged robber who reportedly shoplifted a BB gun, used it to rob the store and then carjacked a getaway vehicle in the parking lot. The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports the man entered the Walmart on Thursday, Oct. 27, around 8am and walked around for an hour before grabbing a BB gun off a shelf and opening the package. The man then approached the customer service desk with the gun and demanded money. As he made his way out of the store, he pointed the gun at 18-year-old Rochelle DeRosa and forced her to give him her keys. “He said, ‘I’ll hurt you, but don’t worry. If you give me your keys, I won’t hurt you.’” Rochelle told the News-Journal. “I don’t understand humans. They’re awful.” The unknown man fled in Rochelle’s car. Police are still searching for him and the missing vehicle.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
