Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: China

China has reportedly banned online searches for “Fatty Kim the Third.” The insulting but popular term for North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was apparently blocked in order to appease North Korean officials. According to the
New York Post, North Korean officials conveyed their displeasure in a meeting with their Chinese counterparts. Searches for the Chinese words “Jin San Pang” on the government-controlled Baidu search engine and the microblogging platform Weibo returned no results this week. The term is reportedly popular among “irreverent” young Chinese, who tend to look down on their country’s would-be ally. Relations between the two nations have been strained lately due to North Korea’s nuclear weapons program. A spokesperson for Baidu refused to comment on the development for the Associated Press. Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson Geng Shuang said China, “does not approve of insulting or ridiculing language to address any country’s leader.” The alternate but equally hilarious nickname “Kim Fat Fat Fat” still brings up results on Chinese search engines, however.

Dateline: South Africa

According to the South African Medical Journal, doctors successfully removed a wedding ring from a man’s penis. The article, published in November, said a 28-year-old man suffered a rare case of “penile strangulation” after squeezing his sex organ into his wedding ring for “erotic reasons.” The ring apparently caused the man’s penis to swell up so much that he was unable to remove it. Hours after getting himself stuck in the ring, the patient was taken to a hospital in Limpopo by his mother. (This just gets worse.) At first doctors tried cutting the ring off with a tiny surgical saw, but the swelling made it too difficult to get close to the ring without causing further injury. Doctors eventually used a syringe to bring the swelling down enough that the ring could be removed. The patient was given antibiotics and pain killers. In conclusion the journal noted that, “no proper guidelines exist for the treatment of this condition, so the ‘best method’ is the one with a successful outcome.”

Dateline: California

A politician is still hoping to be named city treasurer in Oceanside, Calif., even though she lost to her opponent by 6 percentage points in the recent election. Nadine Scott’s claim to the seat is bolstered by the fact that her opponent died over a month ago. Gary Ernst, who was running for reelection, passed away on Sept. 23 at age 61. Despite his death, officials said that Ernst would have to remain on the ballot because there was not enough time to remove his name. Scott spent much of the election reminding voters that her opponent was dead, but she still lost by more than 2,000 votes. Capping off the unusual election was Oceanside City Councilman Jerry Kern, who continued to rally the public in support of Ernst, telling the online daily
Voice of San Diego, “Even though Gary passed away, he is still better qualified than she is.” Scott, who has been a district treasurer for the last 20 years, is hoping the city will simply give the office to her as the only surviving candidate. If the city opts not to appoint someone in Ernst’s place, it will have to hold a special election at the cost of $500,000.

Dateline: Texas

A Texas A&M student was arrested on Wednesday, Oct. 26, after authorities said she crashed her vehicle into the back a police car while sending a topless selfie to her boyfriend.
The Eagle newspaper in College Station reports an officer had parked his patrol vehicle in the southbound outside lane of East Villa Maria Road with the rear emergency lights on while he investigated a disturbance call. Around 8:30pm, while the officer was interviewing people involved in that call, a sport utility vehicle crashed into the rear of his patrol car. According to the police report, as the officer approached the SUV, he observed driver Miranda Kay Rader with her bra unfastened trying to put her shirt back on. She reportedly told the officer she was driving back to her dorm on campus and had been sending a Snapchat picture to her boyfriend. The officer spotted an open bottle of wine in the vehicle. According to the officer’s report, Rader failed parts of a field sobriety test. The 18-year-old was charged with driving while intoxicated with an open container and ticketed for being a minor in possession of alcohol.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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