Dateline: AustraliaA woman called police in northern Australia to report that her drug dealer was charging far too much for marijuana. A Jan. 29 post on the Facebook page for the Northern Territory Police, Fire and Emergency Services said the unidentified woman was “completely offended” by her local drug dealer’s behavior and “demanded that police investigate” what she called an “outrageous” price hike. When asked to provide further details of this illegal transaction, the woman apparently hung up. Although police said the call “had to top the list of unusual,” they did take the opportunity to offer their assistance to the community. “If you know a drug dealer who is ripping you off, give us a call,” the Facebook post said. “We’d love to help.”Dateline: West VirginiaAccording to the Charleston Gazette-Journal, 52-year-old Kerry Johnson was gambling at the Mardi Gras Casino in Nitro last August when he ran out of money. Naturally, Johnson put his last $25 chip down on the blackjack table to hold his place, left the casino, drove 13 miles to Charleston, robbed a bank and returned to continue gambling. Johnson pleaded guilty to second-degree robbery late last month. According to authorities Johnson entered the City National Bank in Charleston, gave the teller a note saying he had a bomb and a weapon, and walked out with $5,000. He then returned to the Mardi Gras Casino and continued playing blackjack. Johnson was arrested the next day after detectives received an anonymous tip. After searching Johnson’s residence, investigators found a yellow legal pad matching the paper used for the robbery note and a hat similar to the one worn by the robber in the surveillance video. Detectives also located a “large amount” of money stuffed into Johnson’s couch. Some $500 worth of the bank’s stolen money was recovered from the table at which Johnson was playing blackjack. At first Johnson told investigators he had spent all day—from 10am to 4:30pm—at the casino. However, security footage at the casino proved that Johnson got up and left during the time the bank was robbed. At the hearing Johnson told the judge he had taken a few drugs the day of the robbery, but “recognized” himself in the bank’s surveillance footage. Johnson faces between 5 and 18 years in prison for the crime. He will be sentenced on March 2.Dateline: FloridaScary clowns are so 2016. The Palm Beach Post reports 32-year-old Steven Charles Kirkland was arrested and charged with burglary, loitering and prowling and trespassing after being accused of breaking into a house and standing over a sleeping woman while dressed as SpongeBob Squarepants. WTSP in St. Petersburg said the victim was asleep on her couch around 7:15am on Monday, Jan. 30, when she awoke to find an unknown man wearing a SpongeBob Squarepants costume. The man ran out of the house and the victim called police. The suspect was spotted in the neighborhood about 7:35am looking through the window of a woman who was getting dressed. Police arrived and chased Kirkland, who tried to hide in a trash can but was found and arrested. Turns out Kirkland was also wanted for two counts of lewd and lascivious molestation on a child under the age of 12 and an indecent exposure charge, both stemming from incidents earlier in January. Investigators expect more victims to come forth.Dateline: FloridaA Panama City fisherman thought he landed the catch of a lifetime after he reeled in a 20 kilogram bale of cocaine in the Gulf of Mexico off Florida’s panhandle. “This changed my life and way of thinking and also made me aware of some of the dangers that can be found offshore in the Gulf,” 32-year-old Thomas Zachary Breeding wrote in a recent letter to the Panama City News Herald. “I would like to let the public know the dangers and what not to do if this situation comes about.” So what shouldn’t you do? Quit your job as a longline boat captain and set up a drug distribution network with your friends. Which is what Breeding did last year after finding the 20 kilograms—about 45 pounds—of free cocaine back in January 2016. Breeding was one of five individuals arrested last summer on charges of conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. The group was indicted by a federal grand jury in September. All five have since pleaded guilty and are awaiting sentencing on Feb. 16. Breeding, who has several prior convictions on his record, could get life in prison and a fine of up to $4.25 million.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
