Dateline: WashingtonA Goodwill store in Monroe, Wash. got a bigger donation than expected when an insulated cooler was found to contain more than 60 ounces of weed. Employees at the store discovered the marijuana while sorting through donation on the morning of Monday, March 13. Employees immediately called police. “We went over there and they opened the lid and in there was five large bags of marijuana,” Debbie Willis of the Monroe Police Department told CNN. “Normally when we go there, it is for a shoplifter, but not anything like this.” Police have tried to track down the original owner of the cooler and its 3.75-pound stash of pot, but they are unsure if the item was donated at the store or at one of the Goodwill trailers parked in a neighboring town. “There are many people on social media claiming it’s theirs,” Willis said. “But we have yet to have one walk through the door.” The weed—estimated to be worth about $24,000—is now sitting in a police evidence locker, waiting for the department’s yearly burn of drugs. Dateline: South CarolinaA substitute teacher in Lexington County was removed from the job after she allegedly got so drunk in class she vomited on the floor. WISTV in Columbia reports that administrators at Brookland-Cayce High School in Cayce called police around 9:45am after noticing Judith Elizabeth Richards-Gartee allegedly acting in a manner that suggested she might be under the influence of alcohol. Besides the alleged vomiting, Richards-Gartee was reportedly unable to stand, forcing school officials to remover her from the classroom in a wheelchair. A deputy from the Lexington County Sheriff’s Department soon arrived on the scene and reported finding a box of wine in the suspect’s purse. Students in the class told the officer they saw their teacher consuming the wine during class. Richards-Gartee was charged with disorderly conduct and taken to the hospital. The Lexington School District Two later released a statement reading, “On Friday, March 10, 2017, it was reported to the Administration of Brookland-Cayce School that a substitute teacher was behaving erratically and appeared to be under the influence of alcohol. This substitute is not an employee of the District, but works for Kelly Services. … The Administration responded immediately, removing the substitute from the classroom and sending her to the School Resource Officer. The District has been advised that law enforcement has filed criminal charges against the Kelly employee.”Dateline: CaliforniaA judge in Humboldt County has ruled that the phrase “insert fart smell here” can remain in special election material to be distributed to Southern Humboldt voters this spring. According to the North Coast Journal, the phrase came from local resident Scotty McClure in response to Measure W, a parcel tax intended to fund the rebuilding of the Jerold Phelps Community Hospital in Gaberville. Deputy County Counsel Joel Ellinwood, representing the county elections office, argued in front of Judge Timothy Cissna that the language was inappropriate to be distributed to taxpayers with taxpayer money. Ellinwood cited state elections code section 9380, which says a judge may issue a “peremptory writ of mandate or an injunction … upon clear and convincing proof that the material in question is false, misleading or inconsistent.” Ellinwood argued that Mr. McClure’s rebuttal “is a vulgarity that expresses contempt for the whole process.” When asked to defend his words, the 68-year-old McClure said he was tired of taxes. “I formed an opinion. That is my rebuttal,” McClure said in court. “They have to print this, no interpretation should be allowed by the elections department. I think I have a right to that opinion.” In the end Judge Cissna ruled that McClure’s “fart smell” comment could not be considered false, inconsistent or misleading and denied the county’s petition to strike it from elections material. “Did I win?” asked McClure after the judge announced his decision. “I’m new at this.”
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
