Odds & Ends

Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: Australia

An Australian senator who was elected three times to the country’s Parliament resigned in mid-July after learning that he was not an Aussie but a Kiwi. Deputy leader of the Greens Party, 47-year-old Scott Ludlam, apologized to his constituents for being born in New Zealand and not Australia as previously believed. Ludlam recently learned that his family moved to Perth, Australia when he was 3 years old and was unaware his parents had not renounced his citizenship. Officially, Ludlam holds dual citizenship between the neighboring island nations. Unfortunately, under the Australian constitution, members of Parliament cannot be anything other than Australian citizens. The shocking revelation has rendered Ludlam’s recent reelection null and void. An Australian court will now have to name his replacement. Ludlum, who has served in the Australian Senate for nine years, described the mater as “entirely my responsibility.” In a tweet announcing his resignation, Ludlam told his constituents, “Hey everyone. I’m sorry about this, but it’s a thing. I’ll really miss it, but there are other ways to make trouble. Love and thanks.” No word on whether Ludlam will now seek office in New Zealand.

Dateline: California

A woman who forgot to tip her pizza driver is requesting a restraining order against him after he allegedly sent her a threatening, four-page letter following the snub. According to the
Redondo Beach Patch, Lauren Ledford ordered a pizza using the phone app Postmates. The tip on Ledford’s pizza would have been $4 (or “only 4 fucking dollars,” according to the delivery driver’s follow-up letter), but she wrongfully assumed the tip was included in the overall charge. Almost a week after getting the pizza, Ledford received a handwritten letter from the self-described “disgruntled employee.” Ledford told the Redondo Beach Patch, “I was terrified that he had been stalking me since he returned six days later.” In his letter the driver advises, “Next time tip your delivery driver. And if it turns out that delivery driver is me again, and you do not tip yet again, I’m probably going to rob you. I’m only joking, but not really. Don’t risk it though.” He goes on to say that Ledford is “a Jew … not in the religious/ethnic sense … just the cheap/frugal sense.” Eventually, the driver admits to being “kinda high” and that he needs “your tip money to stay toasty.” In the final paragraph, the writer adds some sexist comments about women’s menstrual cycles and concludes his rant with the brilliant observation, “Having a weiner has its advantages.” After the incident was reported in local media, Postmates told KTLA-5 that the driver had been suspended.

Dateline: Tennessee

It wasn’t a shotgun wedding precisely, but it was close enough for Tennessee. A newly married couple’s wedding night ended with the bride being hauled off to jail after she pulled a gun out of her wedding dress and pointed it at her new husband’s head. News Channel 5 in Nashville reports that, shortly after exchanging vows, Kate Prichard and James Burton got into a heated argument. The fight escalated to the point at which Prichard reached under her wedding dress and started brandishing a 9mm pistol. Authorities were called to the Clarion Inn Hotel in Murfreesboro on reports of a man and woman fighting. The couple—who had been drinking, of course—were described as “uncooperative.” Witnesses told police the couple were arguing outside the motel. That’s when—as Sgt. Kyle Evans of the Murfreesboro Police Department. explained—25-year-old Prichard “pulled out of her wedding dress a 9mm pistol, pointed it at her new husband’s head and pulled the trigger.” The gun did not go off, however, because it wasn’t loaded. Undeterred, Evans reportedly loaded a round into the chamber and fired a shot in the air, causing everyone to run from the scene. After the incident, police say Prichard “went to the bathroom and disposed of the weapon.” According to Sgt. Evans, “Responding officers let the husband know the honeymoon was over and his new wife was going to jail.” The bride was charged with aggravated domestic assault. Local law enforcement said additional charges could be pending.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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