Compiled by Joshua Lee. Email your weird news to josh@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
5 min read
Dateline: GermanyGerman firefighters saved a man who accidentally got a “very sensitive part” of his body caught in a 5.5-pound gym weight last week. It took rescue workers in Worms, Germany nearly three hours to extract the body part—which they have yet to identify—from the center hole of the dumbbell using a grinder and a vibrating saw to break the disc into five parts. Following the ordeal, the Feuerwehr Worms Fire Department released a photo on Facebook, depicting the dumbbell broken into five pieces with an attached message warning citizens to avoid imitating the man’s actions. Authorities have have not released any details on the events leading up to the accident.Dateline: ColoradoPolice are asking for help identifying a woman seen defecating repeatedly in a Colorado Springs neighborhood. Residents have nicknamed the woman “The Mad Pooper” after witnesses allegedly caught her in the act more than once. The woman is reportedly committing the offensive act while jogging in the neighborhood. One mother told reporters that her children witnessed the woman defecating near their home, and that the runner had subsequently returned multiple times. The Colorado Springs Police Department have released witness photos of the suspect and are searching for the woman’s identity. They say she could face charges of indecent exposure and public defecation. Authorities have not yet mentioned if any connection exists between the “Mad Pooper” and a woman caught on surveillance video in 2013 defecating outside of a Nob Hill home.Dateline: IllinoisDetroit Metropolitan Airport officials are stumped over who could be filling their soap dispensers with what employees believe is a man’s “bodily fluid.” An investigation is underway to identify an “unusual substance” that airport employees found in the North Terminal restroom soap dispensers last week. How the culprits were able to taint the soap supply is unknown, since the system is somewhat complex and requires a level of knowledge not found in the general public. The Airport Authority says it takes matters of public health seriously, and are currently in the process of installing tamper proof soap dispensers. Cleaning staff are monitoring the restrooms more frequently—paying special attention to whether or not the substance in the dispensers is soap.Dateline: CaliforniaA stolen mannequin was returned to its rightful owners with $200 and a strange note. The owner of KJCOUTURE, a clothing boutique in Pleasanton, say the mannequin was stolen from their store earlier this month. The thief allegedly left a note that said “Sorry for stealing your statue she needed a better home. You should consider better security. Love Hollywood.” Last week, the owner found the mannequin outside of her store with a note that said, “Don’t worry Hollywood was a perfect gentleman.” The mannequin’s shirt had been changed and $200 had also been left by the suspected thief. The owner is now planning to install surveillance cameras outside the store. The note seems to be a reference to the movie Mannequin.Dateline: New YorkAccording to an NBC affiliate’s investigative team, North Korea owes the city of New York over $150,000 in unpaid parking tickets. An investigation by Channel 4’s I-Team found North Korea’s diplomatic mission to the United Nations has been issued more than 1,300 parking tickets since the 1990s. Investigators confronted a man claiming to be the secretary of North Korea’s UN mission who denied the claims, saying that the city has the right to withhold diplomatic parking privileges from vehicles with unpaid tickets. This is in reference to a 2002 memorandum of understanding between New York City and the US Department of State, that gives the city the authority to withhold a parking decal if a vehicle accrues more than three parking violations. The I-Team claims North Korea’s tickets were issued before the memorandum was in place, however. Diplomatic vehicles from the nations of Syria, Iran, Russia and China were also guilty of ignoring parking fines according to the investigators.Dateline: AustraliaA family has discovered that what appeared to be a patch of dew was actually a colony of spiders attempting to take over their backyard. Denise and Sean Torkington from Hervey Bay in Queensland spotted the cottony patch of grass beneath their children’s trampoline early in the morning and assumed it was dew. When they noticed the patch lingering into the afternoon, they decided to give it a closer inspection, whereupon they discovered it was a massive cobweb. The Torkingtons attempted to remove the pests themselves by kicking away the web, but they say the spiders rebuilt it by the next morning and had even expanded it. According to the family, the web has steadily been growing ever since. They have hired a professional pest removal service and hope to be rid of the problem permanently.