Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
(Scott Rickson)
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Dateline: The Philippines— Although he claimed he could see the future, an eccentric Filipino judge was surprised recently when he was fired by the country’s Supreme Court. “They should not have dismissed me for what I believed,” Florentino Floro, a trial judge in the capital’s Malabon northern suburb, told reporters after filing his appeal. Floro was sacked last month and fined 40,000 pesos ($780) after a three-year investigation found he was incompetent, had shown bias in a case he was trying and had criticized court procedure. In addition to his ability to see into the future, the judge told investigators that three invisible mystic dwarves named Armand, Luis and Angel helped him carry out healing sessions during breaks in his chambers. The Supreme Court agreed with the court clinic’s finding that he was suffering from psychosis.

Dateline: Germany— A police commissioner has been arrested for robbing a bank near the police station after leaving his girlfriend’s car behind as evidence. The 52-year-old senior officer allegedly entered the bank in Trier, Rhineland-Pfalz, wearing a mask and brandishing a gun. He demanded the branch manager hand over the cash and escaped in a car. The car was later found abandoned. Police were able to trace it back to the owner, who turned out to be the police commissioner’s girlfriend. She admitted she had loaned the vehicle out to her boyfriend for the week. “We just can’t believe it,” a police spokesperson told reporters. “We are trained to fight crime, not commit it. But you can never tell who is the black sheep among your colleagues. … I’m surprised he used his girlfriend’s car, though. Even the dumbest thieves usually use stolen vehicles.”

Dateline: Argentina— According to UOL Argentina, a parrot named Pepo was sentenced to five days in prison for “interrogation.” Two neighbors, Jorge Machado and R. Vega, were arguing over ownership of the animal, so a judge ordered Pepo to be held in custody until he revealed the name of his true owner. After five days, Pepo finally squawked, repeating Jorge’s name and singing the anthem of his favorite football team, San Lorenzo. “I knew he wasn’t going to let me down,” said Mr. Machado. “He is a real friend and we support the same football team.”

Dateline: Hungary— Construction workers who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel, a police magazine website reported. According to online magazine www.zsaru.hu, builders in Szeged in the south of Hungary tried to move the barrel after they had drained it, but found it was surprisingly heavy. Dumping out the remaining contents revealed the long-dead body of a naked man. The website said the body had been shipped in the rum barrel from Jamaica 20 years ago by the dead man’s wife in order to avoid the cost and paperwork of an official return. The wife had since passed away. According to the website, workers said the rum in the 300-liter barrel had a “special taste,” so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home.

Dateline: Ohio—
Honey, get the big one! Police have charged a Cincinnati couple with stealing a big-screen television from a local appliance store. Early last Wednesday, police responded to an alarm at a TV and appliance store where the window and front door were smashed out and a Hitachi flat-panel television was missing. The alleged culprits, Richard and Stephanie North, were easy to spot. The stolen television was too big to fit in their car. Police spotted the couple’s Mercury Sable going down a nearby road with the 55-inch television sticking out one of the open back doors. Richard North was charged with breaking and entering and felony theft. His wife was charged with complicity.

Dateline: Pennsylvania— Would you like hot oil with that? An argument over service at a fast-food restaurant resulted in a woman driving away with third-degree burns. Vouncile Lambert pulled up to the pickup window at a Checker’s restaurant in West Philadelphia looking for a quick burger. Lambert noticed the not-so-courteous clerk fighting with a customer in front of her. When it came time for Lambert’s order, the clerk started arguing with her and ended up dumping an entire soda onto the customer’s lap. Lambert demanded to speak to the restaurant’s manager. While the manager was talking with Ms. Lambert, the young female clerk returned with a special order. “That’s when the young lady came from behind with a cup of oil and the threw it through the pickup window,” Lambert told the local NBC affiliate. A manager at Checkers said that the clerk has been fired. Police also charged her with aggravated and simple assault, as well as reckless endangerment.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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