Odds & Ends

Devin D. O'Leary
5 min read
(Scott Rickson)
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Dateline: Germany– Police in the Bavarian city of Ingolstadt were stunned when a thief they had just released from custody was caught stealing one of the officer’s bicycles on his way out of the police station. “They could scarcely believe his cheek,” said a spokesman for Ingolstadt police. “It’s almost impossible to beat.” Police had earlier arrested the 22-year-old man after he was caught stealing handbags. The man was soon released on the condition he report back to them later. As he exited the police station, an observer in the parking lot spotted the man helping himself to a bicycle. Police gave chase and quickly re-arrested him. “He claimed he thought it belonged to a friend,” added the police spokesman. “He won’t be getting out of jail so quickly this time.”

Dateline: New Zealand– A female police officer is in trouble after doing some unproved undercover work. Seems that the woman, stationed in the country’s biggest city, Auckland, was found to have been moonlighting as a prostitute. “The officer concerned has been counseled. Under police procedures this amounts to a censure,” Deputy Police Commissioner Lyn Provost said in a statement. Although prostitution has been legalized in New Zealand since 2003, the police officer had not sought permission to have a second job. Such applications are considered on a case-by-case basis. “This type of secondary employment would never be approved given that the type of work is inappropriate and incompatible with policing,” Provost said.

Dateline: Colorado– Two Colorado teens were arrested for trying to charge people a one dollar toll to cross a neighborhood bridge and for threatening to stab an off-duty sheriff’s officer with a broken golf club after he refused to pay. According to the Rocky Mountain News , Boulder County Sheriff’s Sgt. Kevin Parker tried to cross a park bridge near the intersection of Foothills Highway and Colorado Avenue on his bike. Robert Hibbs, 19, and Bradley Boville, 18, were there shouting lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (“None shall pass!”) and demanding a dollar toll. When Parker refused to pay, Boville allegedly told Hibbs to “go stab that guy.” Parker called 911 and managed to wrestle the golf club from the increasingly aggressive teen. When officers arrived and took the pair into custody, they admitted taking LSD and tried to explain their bridge troll act as a “bad trip.” Police found a marijuana joint hanging out of Boville’s pocket, and the two told officers they were trying to raise money so they could buy a lighter to smoke the “very large” joint, which–somewhat ironically–was made out of several dollar bills.

Dateline: Oregon– A woman who called 911 looking for “the cutest cop I’ve seen” got her wish when the officer in question returned to her house to arrest her for misuse of the emergency dispatch system. Washington County Sheriff’s Sgt. David Thompson told KGW-TV of Portland it all started with a noise complaint registered last month by neighbors of Lorna Jeanne Dudash of Aloha, Ore. The deputy sent to check on the complaint knocked on Dudash’s door, but got no answer. Thompson said Dudash then called 911, asking that the “cutie pie” deputy return. “He’s the cutest cop I’ve seen in a long time. I just want to know his name,” Dudash told the dispatcher. “Heck, it doesn’t come very often a good man comes to your doorstep.” After listening to some more, followed by a bit of silence, the dispatcher asked again why Dudash needed the deputy to return. “Honey, I’m just going to be honest with you, OK? I just thought he was cute. I’m 45 years old and I’d just like to meet him again. But I don’t know how to go about that without calling 911,” she said. “I know this is absolutely not in any way, shape or form an emergency, but if you could give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?” The deputy returned, verified there was no emergency and promptly hooked Ms. Dudash up with a date–a court date. Misuse of the 911 system is punishable by a fine of up to several thousand dollars and a year in jail.

Dateline: Indiana– Today’s crime spree is brought to you by the letter “R.” Dozens of letter Rs stolen two weekends ago from businesses around west central Indiana, were mysteriously returned last Thursday. An officer at the Greencastle Police Department found a box full of consonants on the department’s front step when he came to work that morning. The previous weekend, dozens of letter Rs went missing from area signs, including those in front of restaurants, gas stations, repair shops and medical offices. “It’s very strange,” Greencastle resident Jessi Boller told reporters. Police Chief Tom Sutherland said police don’t know why the letters were taken. Officers plan to dust the purloined letters for fingerprints before returning them to their owners.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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