Dateline: OklahomaCan you still yell “April Fool’s” when the cops show up? Sheriff’s deputies in Wagoner County say that 18-year-old Tori Wheeler tried to play an April Fool’s Day prank on her boyfriend by telling him she was pregnant. According to FOX 23 in Tulsa, Derek Bauer didn’t take the news well, getting “very angry” at his girlfriend. Wheeler responded by brandishing a kitchen knife—which she told deputies was just another joke. Bauer, still not getting the “joke,” threatened to call the police. That’s when, investigators say, tensions rose. Wheeler allegedly got mad, slashed Bauer’s throat and bit him twice. Bauer ended up at the hospital with seven stitches, and Wheeler was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. April Fool’s!Dateline: AlabamaDeputies in Mobile pulled over a driver who was “double texting,” sending text messages on two phones while driving with his knees. According to the Mobile County Sheriff’s Department, Dandre Moore was stopped while weaving in and out of traffic through a tunnel. Moore told deputies he has been “double texting” since he was 15 years old. That wasn’t Moore’s only problem, though. While he was driving with no hands on the wheel, there was a 3-year-old child in the car’s back seat. The Press-Register newspaper reports a front seat passenger, Dartavious Moore, had an ounce of marijuana stuffed into his underwear. While searching the car, deputies also found $4,500 in cash, several Xanax and a bottle of the prescription painkiller oxycodone. Both men were arrested.Dateline: IllinoisA gang of cross-dressing thieves have been hitting shops along Chicago’s upscale Oak Street shopping district in order to steal high-end purses. Nearly a half-dozen boutiques, including Jimmy Choo, Moncler and Barney’s have been targeted in broad daylight by the fancy bandits. Police believe the burglaries are connected because each is committed by two to three black men in women’s clothing who check out the store beforehand and transport the loot away in a Forever 21 bag. “The first time they were casing the store for a long time,” Furla employee Deborah Himmel told Chicago’s NBC-5 News. Although the thieves dress in drag, they do not wear high heels. “You can’t run in heels,” pointed out Himmel.Dateline: CaliforniaThe Riverside Press Enterprise reports a 22-year-old Southern California man was critically injured when he fell off the trunk of a car while attempting to fly a kite from a moving vehicle. According to sheriff’s officials, the white Nissan was moving slowly when the man fell off and struck his head on the pavement. Paramedics treated the man at the scene, and he was taken to a nearby hospital. Shockingly, authorities say alcohol was not involved.Dateline: PennsylvaniaThe Daily Times in Delaware County says police in Upper Darby have released surveillance video of a woman attacking employees at a dollar store with a can of pepper spray and then encouraging her 7-year-old daughter to do the same. Delaina Garling, 27, had two young children with her when she entered the Family Dollar Store at 3:16 p.m. on March 19. Garling was asked to leave by employees based on a previous alleged shoplifting incident at the store. “Instead of leaving, Garling reached into the bag and pulled out the pepper spray and sprayed the two employees in the face,” Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood told the newspaper. “When she was wrestled to the ground, she handed the pepper spray to her 7-year-old daughter and told her, ‘You know what to do, baby, spray it.’” Fortunately, “another employee grabbed the can out of the little girl’s hand before she had a chance to use it,” Chitwood added. “It takes guts to involve a child in an assault. We’re going to contact Children and Youth Services about the children.” The employees reported burning in the eyes and a skin reaction but did not require hospital treatment. Garling appeared in court on April 5 on charges of possessing instruments of crime, simple assault, harassment and possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
