Odds & Ends: Attack Of Jealousy, That Spark, Hunt For Fare-Skipper, Pink Pistol Penis Shot

Odds & Ends: Attack Of Jealousy, That Spark, Hunt For Fare-Skipper, Pink Pistol Penis Shot

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Dateline: Connecticut— A 24-year-old woman is facing assault charges after police say she attacked a 12-year-old whom she accused of eyeing her boyfriend. The Hartford Courant reports Candice Kiley was attending a family birthday party on July 23 when she grabbed the 12-year-old by the hair and threw her to the floor. North Branford Police said the girl then suffered an asthma attack. Kiley’s 30-year-old boyfriend was allegedly in the kitchen cleaning up a spill when the confrontation took place. Kiley was charged with third-degree assault, disorderly conduct and risk of injury to a minor.

Dateline: Florida— A 36-year-old woman told the Gainesville Police Department that she had been drinking when she decided to wake up her boyfriend using novelty fireworks. Unsurprisingly, the incident ended with the boyfriend wide awake and the woman missing three of her fingers. The unidentified woman said she lit the fuse on the device and was planning to toss it out the front door, thinking the noise would awaken her boyfriend—who had also been drinking. Instead, the explosive device blew up in the woman’s hand, removing her thumb, middle finger and ring finger. According to Ocala.com, police said the blast was so powerful they found one bone fragment embedded in the ceiling of the couple’s apartment. The woman was taken to a medical facility at the University of Florida where she was treated for serious injuries. The boyfriend told police he did not realize the couple had any fireworks left over from the Fourth of July.

Dateline: Illinois— The Chicago Tribune reports police in suburban Wilmette went looking for a man who skipped out on a $15 taxi fare. The man, 19-year-old Christopher Porter of Evanston, wasn’t all that hard to find. He left a backpack in the cab’s back seat containing an ID and a bong. Porter and a friend got into the taxi at 2:30 a.m., Aug. 4, in Winnetka, according to the police report. Both were drinking beer, the cab’s driver told police. The first man was dropped off at Third and Linden with the understanding that Porter would pay the entire fare. At 3:38 a.m., however, Porter opened the cab’s door and ran away. The cab driver turned Porter’s backpack over to police. Among the items in the backpack was a can of V8 juice, an unopened tin of mint chewing tobacco, 8 cents in change and “a marijuana smoking device.” Using an ID also left behind in the backpack, police contacted the man’s father. Porter turned himself in at an area police department the next afternoon and was charged with possession of marijuana. He offered the cab driver $20 to cover the $15 fare. The driver accepted and theft charges were not pressed.

Dateline: Arizona— Joshua Seto, 27, managed to shoot himself in the penis with his fiancée’s pink pistol by tucking the handgun into the waistband of his pants. According to an article in the Arizona Republic , Seto and his armed fiancée were on their way to a Fry’s Food Store in Chandler around 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday, Aug. 9, when the incident occurred. The bullet passed through Seto’s member and continued its journey through his right thigh. Christopher, 26, called 911 and told dispatchers, “He is still conscious, there is just a lot of blood.” One operator told Christopher to apply direct pressure to the wound with a dry towel or T-shirt and to avoid looking at the wound. “I did look at it,” Christopher responded. “It’s pretty bad.” Paramedics arrived and rushed Seto to a nearby hospital. Chandler Police Detective Seth Tyler used the opportunity to warn the community that gun holsters are useful things. Tyler told the newspaper that movies and TV shows, such as “Sons of Anarchy,” that show tough guys with guns shoved into their jeans are “not realistic.” Tyler pointed out that actors use rubber weapons, which are much lighter than real guns. “If you are going to carry a handgun on your person, use a holster, not your waistband,” said the detective. Tyler said Seto is recovering from his wounds and could face possible charges.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.

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