Dateline: Canada— A carjacker, hoping to make off with some filthy lucre, got something else filthy when he successfully stole a van full of dirty diapers. According to a report on GlobalMontreal.com, diaper delivery truck driver Marc Sabourin was taking a break when a man wearing a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses approached him and asked if he was selling something. “I said, ‘I don’t sell anything, I’m a diaper delivery service.’ Then he jams the car door open and says, ‘Get out,’ ” Sabourin explained. The man indicated he had a gun and threatened to use it on Sabourin if he did not surrender the unmarked vehicle. “I was pretty afraid at that point. I just let him go with it,” Sabourin told the Canadian website. The carjacker climbed into the white van and made off with its cargo, 500 pounds of soiled diapers. Samantha Cockburn, owner of the Montreal-based diaper service Baby Auric, said the robbery was “a big loss for us because we had a lot of diapers in there.” Cockburn estimated the messy load represented about half of the company’s cloth diaper inventory. Antoine Goulet, Cockburn’s husband and co-owner of the company, called it “a shitty situation.” Dateline: Washington, D.C.— The woman who allegedly attacked a famous Gauguin painting at the National Gallery of Art has been identified as a 53-year-old convicted felon who believes the artist is “evil.” Suspect Susan Burns told an investigator that Gauguin’s “Two Tahitian Women” is “very homosexual,” plus it “has nudity and is bad for the children.” According to the misdemeanor complaint filed against her, Burns walked into the museum’s Gallery 214-C and “grabbed the frame holding said painting on its left side and attempted to pull it off the wall.” Unable to remove it, Burns then “struck the middle of the painting with her right fist.” The $80 million painting, protected by a transparent acrylic shield, was undamaged. After her arrest, Burns told police, “I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.” On Saturday, April 2, Burns pleaded not guilty to a pair of misdemeanor counts related to the painting pummeling. Burns has a lengthy rap sheet that includes convictions for carjacking, disorderly conduct, trespassing and assault on a law enforcement officer. Dateline: Ohio— Ryan James Stephens, 25, was charged with teasing a police dog after an officer said Stephens was “making barking noises and was hissing at the police dog inside of the car.” Cincinnatti.com reports Mason Police Officer Bradley Walker was investigating a car crash outside the Mason Pub around 2:30 a.m. Sunday, April 3, when he heard his canine partner, Timber, “barking uncontrollably” from inside a nearby police cruiser. In his report, Walker alleges he confronted Stephens but that the man walked away and ignored commands to stop. When asked why he was harassing the police canine, Stephens replied, “The dog started it.” According to the police report, Stephens showed signs of being “highly intoxicated.” Stephens was detained briefly but was released to an employee at the Mason Pub who agreed to drive him home. Stephens is scheduled to appear in Mason Municipal Court on April 21. Dateline: Illinois— An Evanston man was arrested at a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant after allegedly threatening to shoot employees in order to score some discounted side items. Cornell C. Lang, 29, was charged with disorderly conduct at 11:30 p.m. on April 1. According to employees at the restaurant, Lang told them he had a gun and demanded they sell him a basket of fries for $1. Allegedly, Lang told them someone would get hurt if his request was denied. Police, responding to a 911 call from restaurant employees, determined that Lang did not have a gun in his possession. He is scheduled for a court appearance on May 3. No word on whether he got his fries. Dateline: Minnesota— A Roseville man, who allegedly whipped his two children with an electrical cord because they switched the TV from a Christian station, has been charged with malicious punishment of a child. Stanley Chukwudi Ogbonna, 33, told police he was angry with the children because they lied about how the channel was changed. According to the criminal complaint in the case, Ogbonna admitted he grabbed a cord and struck his 10-year-old daughter about the head and neck. Though he denied striking the girl or her 8-year-old brother previously, examinations by the staff of the Midwest Children’s Resource Center at Children’s Hospital in St. Paul revealed “various marks of divergent ages on both children’s bodies.” According to St. Paul’s Pioneer Press , the case was brought to the attention of police by a social worker who discovered large welts on the girl’s arm.