Dateline: Switzerland— Swiss police say motorcyclist Boris Maier, 38, was caught by an automated traffic camera going 67 mph in a 50 mph zone—which doesn’t sound all that fast, until you realize that Maier wasn’t even on a motorcycle at the time. The speed camera, located between the town of Cibourg and La Chaux-de-fonds, near the French border, snapped a photo of Maier sliding along the roadway with his motorcycle behind him, trailing sparks on the pavement. Maier’s body was clocked at 67 miles per hour. “It appears that he suddenly saw the traffic control measure ahead and lost control as he tried to slow down,” a police spokesperson said. The biker, who was wearing protective leather gear and a helmet, suffered minor cuts and bruises but did not require any medical attention. Police believe Maier was going a great deal faster than 67 mph when he was actually on top of his motorcycle. As it stands, he faces a fine. Dateline: Pennsylvania— Two brothers have been charged with stealing a nearly 16-ton bridge. The 50-foot-long, 20-foot wide Covert’s Crossing Bridge, built in a wooded area about 60 miles north of Pittsburgh in the ’30s, was dismantled using blowtorches sometime in late September. Shortly after that, 24-year-old Benjamin Jones and 25-year-old Alexander Jones showed up at the Ferrotech recycling company in New Castle and sold 31,000 pounds’ worth of steel for $5,179. Alexander Jones reportedly told one of the employees he and his brother had permission to cut up the bridge and provided cell phone photos of the intact bridge as proof. In early October, New Castle Development Co., owners of property on which the bridge sits, filed a theft report. Ferrotech representatives contacted police shortly after the report was made public. “It’s something you don’t expect to lose,” New Castle Development spokesperson Gary L. Bruce told New Castle News . “We had other thefts out there, copper wire last year. It’s hard to understand why someone would put in that much effort.” Replacement cost on the bridge has been tagged at $100,000. Dateline: Georgia— On the list of all-time unsuccessful bank robbery disguises, “furnace air filter” has to rank highly. Authorities in Forsyth County say a man walked into the Best Bank inside the Kroger supermarket in Cumming shortly after 10 a.m. on Monday, Oct. 10. The man was wearing gloves and a baseball cap and holding a large, rectangular air filter in front of his face. “He used the air filter to try to conceal his identity from the employees,” Sheriff’s Investigator Matt Runion told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution . “I guess he didn’t see the camera.” The robber, who did not produce any weapon during the robbery, managed to shield his face from bank employees, but an overhead camera captured clear images of his face behind the air filter. The robber is described as a Hispanic male, 5 feet 10 inches tall, with distinct acne scars. And, one assumes, a dusty furnace. Authorities did not say how much money he got away with. Dateline: Kentucky— DUI suspect Donn Adams didn’t do himself any favors when he told Louisville police he only had “two pizzas to drink” for lunch before driving into a ditch. According to the arrest records, police were dispatched to a one-vehicle accident at about 10 p.m. on the night of Saturday, Oct. 15. Police said Adams appeared confused and disoriented. When asked if he had been drinking, Adams gave his liquid pizza confession. Asked if he was under the influence of any drugs, Adams told officers he was not, but that he took Suboxone for an opiate addiction. Officers on the scene spotted two syringes filled with a brown liquid believed to be heroin sitting in plain sight in Adams’ car. Adams told police a friend left the drugs there. According to WLKY-TV in Louisville, Adams was charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.