Dateline: Australia— A woman nabbed by Melbourne police for drunk driving said she was only going out to test her new teeth on some Kentucky Fried Chicken. The 55-year-old woman, described in the police report as being from the St. Kilda East suburb, was caught outside the Prahran Police Station on the night of April 22. Her blood alcohol level was recorded as .052. She told police she had decided to drive because she wanted to try out her new false teeth at KFC. It was the woman’s second offense in 10 years, and her license was automatically revoked. Dateline: Virginia— Police in North Stafford say a teenager dressed in a cow costume crawled into a store on all fours and tried to make off with 26 gallons of milk. Stafford County Sheriff’s Department officers responded to a call from a Wal-Mart on Garrisonville Road at 10:35 p.m. on Tuesday, April 26. Security guards at the store told officers that a man in a cow suit was caught on videotape placing $92 worth of milk in a shopping cart and then rolling it out of the store. The same costumed individual was later spotted trying to give containers of milk to customers in the store’s parking lot. Police located the shopping cart full of milk and the abandoned cow outfit. While investigating the bovine crime, officers were summoned to a disturbance at a McDonald’s across the street. There, officers found 18-year-old Jonathan Payton, who was brought back to the Wal-Mart and identified as the teenager who shed the cow costume. Payton was issued a summons for shoplifting and released on his own recognizance. Dateline: Florida— A man “outraged” at drivers speeding past his Melbourne Beach home climbed up on his roof, waved a rifle at motorists and had to be talked down by police. Around 6 p.m. on April 27, Melbourne Beach police responded to a report of a man pounding on a stop sign with a garden tool. When they arrived, the man in question retreated to the roof of his house. “He was upset—yelling and screaming at people in the cars going by,” Police Chief Dan Duncan told Florida Today . “He was very upset at the speeders going down the road.” The man pointed what later turned out to be a BB gun at motorists, but eventually dropped it after some coaxing from officers. After abandoning his weapon, the man locked himself inside a screened-in patio area. It took an hour of negotiating with officers before the man surrendered and was taken to Circles of Care Hospital in Melbourne for mental evaluation. “The guy was pretty out of it,” Duncan said. “He had some obvious anger-management issues.” The man, whose name has not been released, was not charged with a crime. Dateline: Florida— A man who turned his barn into a self-tanning salon has been charged with making, printing or publishing computer pornography, and voyeurism. Doyce Dean Griffis, 47, was arrested earlier this month for videotaping female clients of his backyard business, located in the rural, central Florida town of Starke. Capt. Brad Smith of the Bradford County Sheriff’s Office said Griffis confessed to filming female tanners as they undressed before getting into the tanning bed. According to Smith, Griffis hid behind a two-way mirror and operated a video camera. Four large containers of VHS tapes were seized from Griffis’ home, along with 30 or more 8mm cassettes, 41 DVDs, two computer memory cards, the two-way mirror and a laptop computer. In a jailhouse interview with the Gainesville Sun , Griffis said he originally bought the tanning bed for personal use and had it set up in his home. Later, he decided to move it to a barn in his backyard and charge patrons $2 for 20 minutes to use it. Police believe Griffis has been operating the illegal business since 2000. Griffis said he was surprised it took as long as it did for him to be caught. “It started out harmless,” Griffis told the newspaper. “I just like to look at pretty girls naked.” Griffis is being held at the Bradford County Jail without bail.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
