Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
4 min read
Dateline: Sweden The littlest carjacker has just been crowned. Police in the Gothenburg suburb of Kortedala say a 9-year-old used a pellet gun to steal an electric car late last month. Jan Jentzell of Poseidon, the property management company that owns the electric car, told the Aftonbladet newspaper the boy waved the realistic-looking Airsoft gun at several witnesses who saw him trying to break in to a different vehicle in the parking lot of an apartment complex. “It’s loaded,” he allegedly yelled at them. Unsuccessful in his first attempt, the kid tried again with another vehicle. This one was a small electric vehicle being driven by the apartment’s groundskeeper. The preteen pilferer sped off in the vehicle—which was only capable of speeds of less than 20 miles per hour. According to Jentzell, the boy took about a 10-minute joyride before crashing into a roundabout. The kid tried to escape on foot but was nabbed by an adult who had given chase. Since the boy is too young to face criminal charges, his case has been turned over to social services. Dateline: Australia Surprising no one but himself, a motorist accidentally set himself on fire by playing with a lighter while filling up his car at a gas station. “Why anyone would have done something like that is just beyond me,” ACPO service station owner Suzy Eid told Seven Network Australia. The incident, which was caught on a security camera, took place in Thomastown, a suburb of Melbourne. In the security footage, the man is seen pumping gas into his car’s tank and flicking a cigarette lighter. Fumes from the gas nozzle exploded in a fireball, which spilled onto the concrete floor of the gas station. A quick-thinking attendant shut off the pump and a local doctor tossed a bucket of water over the spilled gasoline. The moronic motorist was treated and released. Dateline: Massachusetts Police in the northeastern Massachusetts city of Lawrence arrested 25-year-old Ilyass Nabih and 29-year-old Thony Sengsoulya for allegedly shooting heroin—while parked in front of the local police station. Lawrence Police Chief John Romero told CBS Boston that one of his officers “observed a vehicle parked in a police parking spot, which is restricted area for police vehicles only, and the car was actually at an angle where it was taking up a couple of spots.” It was around 12:30 p.m. on Monday, June 25, when officer Adam Goujon approached the illegally parked silver Honda Pilot. Inside, he spotted Nabih, who was in the driver’s seat. “He was holding a needle,” Goujon told the Massachusetts Eagle-Tribune . “I said, ‘You’re shooting up right in front of the police station?’ He said, ‘I know, I messed up.’ I couldn’t believe the audacity.” Nabih was charged with heroin possession. Sengsoulya was charged with knowingly being present where heroin is kept. “All those police cars should have been a hint that perhaps they were in the wrong place," added Romero. Dateline: New Jersey An elderly man was arrested after allegedly threatening to shoot his neighbor for farting in his general direction. Teaneck resident Daniel Collins Jr., 72, is accused of pointing a .32-caliber revolver at his 47-year-old neighbor. According to the Bergen Record , Collins was inside his apartment when he heard his neighbor break wind loudly while passing by Collins’ front door. Collins allegedly grabbed his pistol and followed the man into their apartment building’s lobby. There, witnesses say Collins told the crop duster, “I’m going to put a hole in your head.” The victim called police and Collins was charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and terroristic threats. “It’s natural,” another neighbor in the building was quoted as saying on New York’s 1010 WINS news station. “We all break wind … there’s no need for the gun.”