Thin Line

Michael Henningsen
2 min read
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Who gives a shit? By now, it's a safe bet that everyone who drives or rides a bus in Albuquerque has seen the giant blue billboards around town asking, “Where's Larry?” and “Where's Dianne?” The advertisements refer to former KKOB AM morning host Larry Ahrens and decidedly prom-queen-esque, longtime local news anchor Dianne Anderson. The pair form the foundation of what is to become a new FM radio station here in Albuquerque, an addition to the American General Media roster, which includes Wild 106 FM and a handful of other stations no one listens to.

Ahrens will handle the morning show from 6 to 10 a.m., putting his 23 years of radio experience to use announcing traffic and weather reports, pretending to understand America's financial outlook, pimping mattresses, oil changes, dry cleaners and assorted other retail bullshit, spewing prefab opinions lifted from conservative newspapers and websites, and other mind-numbing nonsense. Anderson will host the afternoon show—reportedly geared toward working women—from 1 to 4 p.m. (um, aren't working women working between 1 and 4 p.m. most days?)

The new radio station debuts Monday, Feb. 28, on a frequency you'll just have to search for yourself if you really want to hear Ahrens' same ol' drivel and Anderson's predictable take on “the news.” Hint: The new station will replace an existing AGM station.

In more “Who Gives a Shit?” news … Jeff Gordon won his third Inbreeders' Cup (a.k.a the Daytona 500) last weekend by driving around in circles and making left turns more skillfully than a bunch of other rednecks. A hundred thousand or so of the geniuses that gave you George W. Bush for a second term turned out to watch the spectacle and guzzle as many $8 cups of Miller Lite as possible in a four-hour period before driving their families home in minivans covered in Dale Earnhart memorial stickers. I drove to work really fast every morning last week, ignoring reduced speed limit signs due to I-40 construction and didn't get a single ticket. Sign me up for the Hall of Fame!

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