Thursday 9
“The Cut” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Tommy Hilfiger hosts this new reality show searching for the next great American clothing designer. The winner gets to work for Tommy. CBS promises that this will be “unlike any reality series you've ever seen”–assuming, of course, that you've never seen “Project Runway,” “The Apprentice,” “The Rebel Billionaire: Branson's Quest for the Best” or pretty much any other reality series.
“The Mysterious World of Alain Nu” (TLC 7 p.m.) Renowned mentalist Alain Nu travels the country performing assorted mysterious feats. He's an expert at psychological manipulation and is quite a bit better than showboater David Blaine.
“MTV Movie Awards” (MTV 9:30 p.m.) The highlight of tonight's show was supposed to have been a 20th anniversary Breakfast Club cast reunion. Only three people showed up. I'll leave it up to your imagination to guess which three.
Friday 10
“Fur on the Asphalt: The Greg the Bunny Reunion Special” (IFC 8:30 p.m.) A cult hit that was snatched from the jaws of “hit” status, this rude look at life behind the scenes of a kids' show (in which the puppets are real) returns for a one-off reunion special. Greg and his pal Warren the Ape go on the road in search of their missing sidekick Count Blah.
Saturday 11
“Get Down Tonight” (KNME-5 7:30 p.m.) PBS avoids the usual folk music and Lawrence Welk for a dip into the disco era. KC and the Sunshine Band play host to the likes of Donna Summer, Wild Cherry and A Taste of Honey.
Sunday 12
“Jane Goodall's When Animal's Talk” (Animal Planet 6 p.m.) Honestly, I'd be more excited if it was “Jane Goodall's When Animals Attack.” … But then, I guess that's not the kind of message Dr. Goodall wants to get across.
“The Dead Zone” (USA 8 p.m.) Fresh off his appearance on the MTV Movie Awards, Anthony Michael Hall returns to another season of catching bad guys with his psychic powers.
Monday 13
“The Closer” (TNT 7 p.m.) Kevin Bacon's wife Kyra Sedgewick stars in this new series about a deputy police chief in Los Angeles hired to head up a special task force to hunt down high profile murderers. Once again, Hollywood would have us believe that only hot blonde women can catch serial killers. (See also: “The Inside.”)
Tuesday 14
“Reno 911” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) TV's funniest cop show returns for a fresh season of perp-bashing and bicycle shorts.
“The Shield” (FX 11 p.m.) TV's non-funniest cop show goes away after a fresh season of perp-bashing and bulletproof vests.
Wednesday 15
“30 Days” (FX 11 p.m.) Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock spent 30 days eating nothing but McDonald's for his documentary Super Size Me. Now, for his new FX series, he spends 30 days doing assorted other things. This week, he spends a month working for minimum wage. What fun!
