Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Mounted in Alaska” (History 8 p.m.) A mere week after Discovery gave us the taxidermy docureality show “Taxidermy USA,” History gives us its take—which manages to marry both the “blue collar jobs that don’t have reality shows yet” phenomenon with the “jobs sound so much more macho if they’re in Alaska” phenomenon. To say nothing of the “randomly combine two already overworked reality show ideas” phenomenon.
“Unleashed: K-9 Broward County” (TLC 8 p.m.) Broward County is famous for being the first sheriff’s department in America to welcome “COPS.” Recently, it became home to “Police Women of Broward County.” Now, evidently, its police dogs have their own show. I’m thinking “Radio Dispatchers of Broward County” can’t be far behind, leaving me to wonder how anybody in Broward County has time to fight crime.
“Gigolos” (Showtime 9 p.m.) Back in the day, Cinemax (aka “Skin-a-max”) was the place to go for late-night pay cable naughtiness. Now, Showtime seems to be taking the crown with stuff like this flesh-filled reality series about Las Vegas manwhores.
“CMT’s Next Superstar” (CMT 10 p.m.) Yeah, I think we already found him on another reality-show singing competition. His name is Scott McCreery.
“Colin Quinn Long Story Short” (HBO 8 p.m.) Colin Quinn’s well-regarded Broadway monologue about the history of Western Civilization comes to HBO.
My Future Boyfriend (ABC Family 7 p.m.) An archeologist from 1,000 years in the future unearths a romance novel and travels back in time to find out what love was. ... Well, for starters, it involved really stupid excuses for romantic comedies.
“The Comedy Awards” (Spike / VH1 / CMT / TV Land / Logo 7 p.m.) Several Viacom networks try to kickstart some kind of tradition by handing out awards to funny people—most of whom work for Viacom.
“The Judds” (OWN 7 p.m.) Now that they’ve been out of the public spotlight for a decade or so, the Judds get their own reality show.
“Khloé & Lamar” (E! 11 p.m.) How many reality shows does one talentless family need?!?
“The NewNowNext Awards” (Logo 11 p.m.) How else are you gonna see Lady Gaga, Sara Rue, A.J. McLean, James Van Der Beek and RuPaul on the same stage?
“Toya: A Family Affair” (BET 7 p.m.) Antonia Carter, famous for getting knocked up by Lil Wayne, starring in the BET reality show “Tony and Toya” and ... nothing else that I can determine gets another (no doubt fascinating) reality show.
“Braxton Family Values” (WE 10 p.m.) It’s a good week, apparently, for irrelevant/no-longer-relevant people. Here, R&B singer Toni Braxton, who last had a top 10 hit in 2000, gets her own reality show.
“Sinbad: It’s Just Family” (WE 11 p.m.) ... As does slightly-famous-in-the-’90s comedian Sinbad.
“Happy Endings” (KOAT-7 8:30 p.m.) A longtime group of friends tries to figure out what to do after the couple that brought them together breaks up. Translation: another young, urban people dating sitcom.