“20/20: The Royal Wedding: A Modern Fairy Tale” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) A fairy tale? Really? Air Force pilot and art history major meet in college, get engaged. The end. That’s not much of a fairy tale, people. You need at least a talking bear or a witch or something to qualify.
“The Office” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Michael Scott (and Steve Carell) says goodbye to “The Office” with a 52-minute send-off special.
“Countdown to the Royal Wedding” (TLC 7 p.m.) Jeez, calm down, TLC. You keep up this pace, you’re gonna explode.
“Son of a Gun” (MTV 12 a.m.) Bronx-based rapper Cory Gunz gets his own docu-series. Seriously? Dude has released one album. Isn’t there some washed-up ’80s star more deserving of this honor, MTV?
See “Idiot Box” above.
“Hollywood at Home” (HGTV 6 p.m.) John Leguizamo, Trace Adkins and Lisa Ling—none of whom are very Hollywood, it must be noted—take you on a tour of their fabulous homes. ... Because you need to be more jealous of them.
“Too Cute! Kittens” (Animal Planet 8 p.m.) Is this a TV show or an interoffice email?
Who Killed Chandra Levy? (TLC 7 p.m.) Too cheap and/or lazy to make a full-fledged TV movie about the death of D.C. intern Chandra Levy, TLC settles for a half-documentary, half-melodramatized recreation.
“In Plain Sight” (USA 8 p.m.) The fourth season of USA’s New Mexico-lensed crime series kicks off tonight.
“RuPaul’s Drag Race: Reunited!” (Logo 9 p.m.) Why, reality TV? Why?
“The Bad Girls Club: Reunion” (Oxygen 10 p.m.) If it’s that important, just make your seasons longer and stop giving us all these pointless “reunion” specials. I don’t care what the people in my high school have been doing for the past 20 years. Why would I care what the cast of “The Bad Girls Club” has been up to since the season ended last week?
“The Looney Tunes Show” (Cartoon Network 6 p.m.) So, apparently, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck have abandoned the woods and moved to a wacky suburb full of cartoon characters. This updated, sitcomy version of the old Looney Tunes franchise looks like an animated version of “Modern Family” and will definitely take some getting used to.
“Iron Maidens” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) Lifetime’s new reality show takes us to a gym where world-class female body builders work out. Which sounds fairly empowering—until you realize this is a reality show and will almost certainly feature lots of screaming, catfighting and diva-ish behavior.
“Navajo Cops” (National Geographic 6 p.m.) Think “COPS,” only ... well, you can probably figure the rest out.
“Animal Fugitives” (National Geographic Wild 8 p.m.) NG’s new series concentrates on escaped animals. This first episode, titled “Chimp Breakout,” has me picturing Curious George being chased off the edge of a dam by the Man in the Yellow Hat (as played by a snarling Tommy Lee Jones). As always, my imagination is probably more exciting.