Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“NFL Season Opener: New Orleans at Green Bay” (KOB-4 6:30 p.m.) Preseason is over. Now, it counts.
“CBS Fall Preview” (KRQE-13 7:30 p.m.) Find out all the new shows you’ll be watching (or not watching, as the case may be) this fall.
“The Penguins of Madagascar: Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole” (Nickelodeon 6 p.m.) The surprisingly witty TV spin-off of DreamWorks’ Madagascar gets a sequel to last year’s CGI special starring Neil Patrick Harris as an evil dolphin. ... I always suspected as much.
“Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett Together Again” (HBO 7 p.m.) The comedian and the talk show host reunite on stage to share show-biz memories and to reminisce about Old Hollywood.
“9/11: The Days After” (History 7 p.m.) History examines “the texture of life in the post-9/11 world.” Whatever that is.
“Unleashed by Garo” (Sundance 10 p.m.) Rebellious “independent couture” designer Garo gets his own reality show in which he gives makeovers to ordinary people. Just like all the other rebellious “independent couture” designers over on Style. And Bravo. So rebellious.
“Voices From Inside the Towers” (History 7 p.m.) Families share phone messages sent from loved ones inside the twin towers on 9/11.
The Love We Make (Showtime 7 p.m.) Former Beatle Paul McCartney plans a benefit concert for New York City in the wake of 9/11.
“Portraits From Ground Zero” (A&E 8 p.m.) Photographer Andrea Booher tracks down people she photographed at ground zero on 9/11.
“Beyond: Messages from 9/11” (Biography 8 p.m.) Psychics share “messages” they’ve received from deceased victims of the 9/11 tragedy. ... And this struck no one at Biography Channel as exploitative or ill-advised?
“9/11: 10 Years Later” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) CBS lands New Yorker Robert De Niro as host of its 9/11 special.
“Making the 9/11 Memorial” (History 6 p.m.) Steven Spielberg kinda beat History to the punch, producing the epic six-part series “Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero” over on Discovery.
“America Remembers 9/11” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) Well, PBS correspondents Hari Sreenivasan, Gwen Ifill and Judy Woodruff do most of the remembering for us.
“Twins of the Twin Towers” (OWN 7 p.m.) In a weirdly specific and suspiciously gimmicky special, Oprah’s network talks only to families who lost twins in the collapse of the twin towers. Get it?
Rebirth (Showtime 7 p.m.) Constructed like Michael Apted’s “Seven Up!” series, this documentary looks at a diverse group of people who survived 9/11—then checks up on them 10 years later to see how they’re doing.
The Space Between (USA 7 p.m.) Melissa Leo (The Fighter, “Treme”) stars in this fictional movie about a world-weary flight attendant forced to take a road trip with a Muslim boy in the wake of 9/11.
“Remembrance and Renewal: 10 Years After the 9/11 Attacks” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) “20/20” gives its two cents on the anniversary.
“Gaga by Gaultier” (KWBQ-29 7 p.m.) Singer Lady Gaga and designer Jean Paul Gaultier get together and gab about her life and career. They’re just like Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett. Only not.
“Kate Plus 8” (TLC 7 p.m.) TLC airs the final episode of “Kate Plus 8.” Kate Gosselin begins her sad, inevitable slide into actual motherhood.
“2011 Miss Universe Pageant” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Hosting the Miss Universe Pageant is the television equivalent to being sent to Devil’s Island. Very likely, you will never be heard of again. This year’s lucky personalities are “TODAY” show third-hour co-host Natalie Morales and Bravo TV Executive Vice President Andy Cohen.
“The CW 2011 Fall Preview Special” (KWBQ-19 8:16 p.m.) The network only has four new shows. But it sets aside a luxurious 44 minutes to preview them.
“Flipping Out: Reunion” (Bravo 7 p.m.) I probably shouldn’t use the words “Hollywood fatwa” on the anniversary of 9/11. But that doesn’t let you off the hook, TV. I reminded you a couple of weeks back, slapping the word “Reunion” on a reality show that ended a week ago does not constitute a new show and is strictly forbidden.
“H8R” (KWBQ-29 7 p.m.) Annoying television personalities try to win over people who hate them. In tonight’s series premiere, we get Snooki from “Jersey Shore.” There’s nowhere to go but up from here.
“Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling” (truTV 8 p.m.) How do you make professional wrestling less realistic? Put it on truTV. And hire Hulk Hogan as the host. And staff it entirely with little people. Done and done.
“Up All Night” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) TV vets Christina Applegate (“Married with Children”) and Will Arnett (“Arrested Development”) might be enough to enliven this generic-looking sitcom about how overworked and sleep-deprived new parents of babies can be.
“Free Agents” (KOB-4 9:30 p.m.) Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”) stars in this debuting sitcom about talent agents. Like NBC’s “Prime Suspect,” this is another remake of a popular British series.