Alibi V.26 No.24 • June 15-21, 2017 

Idiot Box

What Up, Dog?

“Hey Duggee” on Nick Jr.

Hey Duggee
Hey, Duggee, I’m kind of addicted to your cartoon show, but I have a few questions.

Hey, Duggee, I get that it’s aimed at British preschoolers, but can an American adult watch it, or is that too creepy?

Hey, Duggee, the show is named after you, even though it revolves mostly around a bunch of cute animals in a day care center/activity club for preschoolers. There’s Tag the rhino and Betty the octopus and Roly the Hippo and Happy the crocodile. They’re the ones who engage in various imaginative adventures on the playground. You pretty much just stand around and say “Woof!” every once in a while. So do you have a really good agent or something?

Hey, Duggee, how come you’re the only animal on the show who can’t talk? All you say is “Woof!” Did you suffer some kind of traumatic brain injury? And how, exactly, did you wind up as the teacher in this situation? Shouldn’t the kids be teaching you English?

Hey, Duggee, what drugs do you suggest I consume while watching your trippy-ass Flash-animated series? LSD worked fine with “Teletubbies,” but seems a little strong for “Hey Duggee.” Given that every episode ends in a “Duggee Hug,” I’m guessing Molly, but I’m open to suggestions.

“Hey Duggee” airs Monday through Friday at 2:34pm on Nick Jr.