Raw posts and updates from our writers with info too timely or uncategorizable for print. What, we said something stupid? Chime in, buddy.
The Daily Word in radioactive cat litter and fracking New Mexico
It's Wednesday, May 14th,
and experts suggest that the WIPP radiation leak may be due to
kitty litter. "Just regular cat litter," said Dr. Jim Concha;
New Mexico's own Mora County is getting ready to battle fracking companies in
a case with national implications,
and a beautiful spring is giving way to New Mexico's fifth, and least popular, season:
Justin Beiber has been accused of
stealing a cell phone at a Los Angeles batting cage,
scientists have found
the oldest sperm on record, but aren't sure why it's so big,
global warming will
continue to make my margaritas more expensive, and a man installing a No Parking sign received a parking ticket. "But I'm putting these signs up," the man said "Then you should know you can't park here," the officer responded.
Have a great day!
The Daily Word in lapel videos, paranoid Googlers and cricket chips
It's Wednesday, May 7th,
and Governor Susanna Martinez, tireless crusader against conflicts of interest in government,
is holding a high-powered fundraising dinner for her re-election bid at the home of a lobbyist in Maryland,
following a take-over of the last meeting, City Councilors in Albuquerque
are taking steps to keep too much democracy from interfering with the next one, and APD released footage of their most recent shootingthey only show the moments after the suspect was already dead, but at least we now know that officers properly handcuffed the corpse. —
a new study shows that Google users are increasingly worried about the NSA logging their searches
and are therefore avoiding the use of "trouble words" like "nuclear facility" and "organized crime,"
a Kickstarter campaign for
"cricket chips"e--met and surpassed its goal, —-which are exactly what they sound lik
and physicists smashed a bunch of atoms together and created the 117th known element.
They call it "element 117."
Have a great day!
The Daily Word in motel bees, botched executions and RIP Bob Hoskins
It's Wednesday, April 30th,
and the Albuquerque Environmental Health Department
thinks you should stay inside and keep your windows closed today,
security guards at the abandoned De Anza Motel on Central and Washington have discovered that the historic building's walls are
filled with thousands and thousands of bees,
and trailer park residents, animal welfare officers and city crews all worked for hours yesterday to try and rescue a cat that appeared to be stuck in a storm drain,
only to discover that the cat had already left by the time they opened the grate.
Meanwhile, the state of Oklahoma failed to painlessly execute a man with an untested drug cocktail;
instead, the man writhed and cried out in agony for twenty minutes before finally dying of a "massive heart attack,"
and antibiotic resistant bacteria
have now spread to every part of the world, prompting the WHO to declare "a major global threat,"
actor Bob Hoskins, best known for playing the non-cartoon human in Who Framed Roger Rabbit,
has died of pneumonia at age 71,
and a man in Maine called the police after two escaped goats
refused to get down off the top of his Ford Focus. "I guess goats like climbing on cars," said Police Chief Scott McMaster.
Have a great day!
The Daily Word in King Arthur's parliamentary run
Good morning, it's Wednesday, April 23, 2014
jerk robbed my bank yesterday,
a UNM football player has been charged
with rape and kidnapping,
and APD would like to point out that they "worked hard" to not shoot and
kill a man who was upset that APD had shot and killed his fiancé.
the US Supreme Court
upheld a ban on affirmative action in college admissions,
people who like bad movies and talking robots are buzzing
with rumors that MST3K may return,
the New York post revealed that creepy R&B singer R. Kelly has been paying millions of dollars out to
"dozens" of women who have accused him of being creepy over the last decade,
and King Arthur, the Raised Druid King of Britain,
plans to run for parliament.
The Daily Word in eyeball licking, Police Oversight Commission resignations and Captain Underpants
It's Wednesday April 16
and three of Albuquerque's six member Police Oversight Commission have resigned, saying that they have no real power to do their jobs, that the City Attorney's Office has undermined them at every turn,
and that the Commission is a 'mockery' in terms of oversight,
cleanup crews are moving toward the contaminated section of WIPP,
very, very slowly,
and Governor Susana Martinez is being
compared to Sarah Palin and eyed for a presidential run.
Meanwhile, a ferry boat
sank off the cost of South Korea, possibly killing hundreds,
children are struggling to understand the unfathomable
mystery of the Sony Walkman,
parents are complaining to libraries about the use of words like "pee-pee" and "Dr. Diaper"
in the Captain Underpants book series,
and a man was arrested after
licking a cop's eyeball outside of a bar called "Pisser's Palace."
Have a great day!
The Daily Word in leg waxing, pooping on bluebonnets and APD managing to not kill someone
Good morning, it's Wednesday April 9th,
and New Mexico's law enforcement academy is being sued by former instructors
for encouraging illegal activity,
but APD officers managed to take in a suicidal gunman
without getting anyone killed,
and he'll enter care at the Metropolitan Detention Center,
currently the largest mental health care facility in the state.
a mass stabbing at a Pennsylvania school injured 20 people,
Vermont farmers are watering their crops with
donated human urine,
a company called Veet is selling leg-waxing products with ads that demean women, trade on homophobia and just generally make a case for
tearing down our culture and starting fresh,
and Texans are inadvertently
pooping on bluebonnets.
Have a great day!
The Daily Word in Harvard Library's human flesh collection, more police shootings and Trinity test downwinders
It's Wednesday, April 2
and there's been
another police shooting in Albuquerque, although this time it was the US Marshals and not APD,
a former Albuquerque policeman who was fired in 2011 after kicking a prone suspect "repeatedly" in the head
would like his job back,
and family members of civilians exposed to radiation from the Trinity test
are getting ready to protest at the bomb site's annual opening.
Chile has been rocked by a deadly earthquake,
the Supreme Court
struck down even more campaign finance limitations,
the latest Facebook scare campaign is
claiming that kids are smoking coffee to get high; this guy tried it and says it sucks,
and Harvard's library discovered that at least three of their books have
bindings of human flesh, one of which belonged to a man who was flayed alive.
Have a good day!
The Daily Word in more APD shootings, dog sex and conscious uncoupling
It's Wednesday, March 26,
and yesterday, hundreds of people turned out to
protest the fatal shooting of James Boyd by Albuquerque police,
so APD showed its willingness to take citizens' concerns seriously by
immediately shooting and killing another person,
meanwhile, Her Enlightened Beingness Gwyneth Paltrow would like for her readers to know that she and husband Chris Martin
will be "consciously uncoupling," or, as mortals call it,"divorcing,"
kangaroos are invading Romania,
dog sex remains
utterly weird and awful,
and Robert Basler of the Santa Fe Reporter isn't sure
whether New Mexican food actually exists.
Have a great day.
The Daily Word in killer Portland cats, Kanye West and the gangs of Disneyland
There are things in the world beyond your understanding. One is Bitcoin and another is Kanye West. Now, you can save time by not understanding both in one convenient package: the
Coinye. Kanye, by the way, is totally suing.
Just because the cops tell you to administer a forcible enema and colonoscopy
doesn't mean you should do it.
A family and their dog barricaded in a bedroom and police frantically dialing animal control. When will humanity learn its lesson?
Beware the cats of Portland.
In the wake of WIPP's
radioactive leakages, officials at Los Alamos say they are looking into "alternatives" for storing their toxic waste. No word on what those alternatives are, but this analyst suggests shoving the boxes all the way into the back of the closet and then putting more boxes on top of them.
The Neverlanders Social Club, with their Walt Disney tattoos, cartoon character dress code and penchant for hanging around the Small World ride, may not fill you with fear,
but you're bound to be unnerved.
Finally, all you never wanted to know about what went wrong with 1994's Street Fighter movie
• BeerBeatsBellydance&More 9.20.2014