Latest Article|September 3, 2020|Free
::Making Grown Men Cry Since 1992
Alibi
\
3 min read
Thursday 9 “The Gruffalo” (ABC Family 5 p.m.) Helena Bonham Carter, Tom Wilkinson and John Hurt voice this animated version of a well-known British children’s book about a wily mouse. “Community” (NBC 7 p.m.) “Community” kicks off a night of Christmas-themed sitcoms in high style with a stop-motion-animated episode evoking the classic Rankin-Bass holiday specials of yesteryear. The Santa Incident (Hallmark 6 p.m.) A family helps Santa Claus after the U.S. government shoots down his sleigh. … Not so fast there. This guy is a foreign national. How do we know he’s not an agent for Al-Qaida? “Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2010” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) And by “fascinating,” Barbara means “totally boring” (Justin Bieber) or “actively annoying” (the cast of “Jersey Shore”). Friday 10 The Wonder World of K. Gordon Murray (TCM 12 a.m.) K. Gordon Murray was a god among film producers. The guy basically spent the ’50 and ’60s importing weird kids’ films from Mexico and parts of Europe (1959’s Santa Claus , 1957’s The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy ). He dubbed them, often shot additional footage and unleashed them on the unsuspecting children of America, resulting in decades of preschool nightmares. The man was a genius. This new documentary gives him his proper due. Saturday 11 “Spike Video Game Awards” (Spike TV 6 p.m.) Best Performance by a Human Female? Felicia Day as Veronica in Fallout: New Vegas. Ice Quake (Syfy 7 p.m.) Close but no cigar. Listen up, programmers. Here’s my pitch for a Syfy Channel Original Movie. Gigantic sinkholes plague a city during a freak snowstorm. I call it Ice Holes . Send me the money and Mario Lopez and I’ll get on it right away. Sunday 12 Christmas Cupid (ABC Family 6 p.m.) The ghost of a famous starlet visits an overworked Hollywood publicist to help with her love life. … Jeez, I hope I have better things to do with my time when I’m dead. Rebel Truce: The History of The Clash (BBC America 8 p.m.) The punk rock originals get the documentary treatment. “Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode III” (Cartoon Network 12:30 a.m.) Beats a “Family Guy” Star Wars special any day of the week. Monday 13 “Mariah Carey: Merry Christmas to You” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Sadly, we can no longer play the game “Mariah Carey: Pregnant or Just Getting Fat?” Since Oct. 28, it’s officially the former. Tuesday 14 “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Shut up, Rerun. Nobody cares about you. Your special didn’t come along until 2003. It sucks. There’s only one Charlie Brown Christmas special and this ain’t it. “Dirty Jobs: Dirty Holidays” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Mike Rowe looks for dirty, holiday-related jobs. Like mall Santa de-louser. … I may have made that one up. Wednesday 15 “ MythBusters: Green Hornet Special” (Discovery 7 p.m.) OK, inviting President Obama on the show to bust some myths was one thing. But what in hell is Seth Rogen doing here?