Thursday 1
“Penn & Teller: Bullshit!” (Showtime 11 p.m.) The infamous magicians return with a second season of their mean-spirited (but spot-on) debunking show. Just to prove they are equal opportunity offenders, the boys take on a couple of very PC topics tonight, calling “Bullshit!” on P.E.T.A. and the environmental hysteria of Greenpeace. It's not that the boys have gone Republican on us, it's just that they hate to see fraudulent misuse of science and truth—whether it comes from the mouth of psychic John Edwards or animal lover Pamela Anderson.
Friday 2
“The Big House” (KOAT-7 7:30 p.m.) Kevin (Kevin Hart) is a spoiled rich kid from California who has to move back in with his poor inner-city relatives in Philadelphia when his dad is busted for embezzlement. It's basically “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” in reverse. And with no Will Smith. Or Alphonso Ribeiro, for that matter.
Saturday 3
“Green Acres” (TV Land 4 a.m.) Despite what FOX's “The Simple Life” thought, the joke in “Green Acres” is not that some rich New York socialite (Eva Gabor) finds herself stuck in Podunk, America. Actually, she fits in just fine with the rather psychotic locals. No, the joke is on our genial, wannabe farmer (Eddie Albert), who heads to rural Hooterville with utopian dreams of returning to the salt of the earth—only to find small-town rubes are just as rude, greedy and manipulative as the rest of us. Unlike a lot of antiquated sitcoms, this one's still hilarious—and you can catch 48 straight hours of it this weekend.
Sunday 4
“American Family” (KNME-5 6 p.m.) PBS' widely acclaimed Hispanic-cast drama returns for a second season. This year, the Gonzalez family's historic escape from the Mexican Revolution is contrasted with the clan's current-day sacrifices during the war in Iraq.
“Sesame Street Presents: The Street We Live On” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) In this start of the venerable show's 35th season, Grover helps introduce young Elmo, via flashback, to historical moments that existed long before the little red Muppet was born. We get to see Mr. Hooper, Luis and Maria's wedding and guest stars from Lily Tomlin to Ruben Studdard.
The Ten Commandments (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Would it have killed Mel Gibson to put a little gold lamé in The Passion of the Christ?
Monday 5
“Cecil B. DeMille: An American Epic” (TCM, 9:30 p.m.) Speaking of The Ten Commandments, what better time to celebrate director Cecil B. DeMille than Easter? The director of such Bible-time epics as Samson and Delilah, The Crusades, Cleopatra and The Sign of the Cross gets the biography treatment courtesy of this new TCM documentary and a month-long airing of the director's best films.
Tuesday 6
“All-American Festivals” (Food Network 8:30 p.m.) Apparently there's a festival in Ligonier, Indiana, dedicated entirely to the marshmallow. Why was I not informed of this?
Wednesday 7
“The Swan” (KASA-2 ) This new reality series allows self-proclaimed “ugly ducklings” to enter a boot camp filled with cosmetic surgery, diet, exercise, therapy and inspiration. The most transformed gal will win the first annual Swan Pageant. The others will need more therapy.
