Thursday 5
“Penn & Teller: Bullshit!” (Showtime 11 p.m.) The Emmy-nominated series (who'da thunk?) returns for another season. In this episode, our angry magicians debunk assorted cons and rip-offs associated with death, dying and burial. Keep up the good work, boys.
Friday 6
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story (VH1 7 p.m.) Flex Alexander (“Homeboys in Outer Space”) stars as The Gloved One in this semi-salacious look at Jackson's weird life, right up until his current legal woes.
Saturday 7
From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter (Spike 7 p.m.) This is, without a doubt, the only cheesy horror/western to feature real-life Civil War author Ambrose Bierce as a main character. I had no idea the guy who wrote “An Incident at Owl Creek Bridge” was such an accomplished vampire slayer. This is the kind of stuff they don't teach you in American Lit.
Sunday 8
“The 4400” (USA 7 p.m.) USA's hit alien abduction series comes to the end of its limited run. No word yet on whether or not the show might return for a second season. If you've missed the previous episodes, tune in earlier for a day-long marathon covering the entire six-episode season.
“Monster Games” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Everybody's got Olympic fever, including the gearheads at “Monster Garage,” who are using their design skills to extend the limits of human athletic accomplishment. I'm pretty sure the I.O.C. frowns on that, though.
“The Venture Brothers” (Cartoon Network 1:30 a.m.) Cartoon Network's gleefully rude, painfully funny takeoff on the old “Johnny Quest” adventure toons finally returns as a regular series. You must watch.
Monday 9
“The Grid” (TNT 7 p.m.) TNT's limited-run series about American CIA agents and British MI6 agents working to stop a deadly terrorism attack comes to its explosive conclusion.
Tuesday 10
“In the Jury Room” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) I wish I were a TV producer. These days, its pretty much the easiest job on the planet, replacing “ice cream taster” as the dream profession of lazy people worldwide. All you've got to do is pick a location (restaurant, casino, hair salon), turn on a video camera and–presto!–reality TV. Here, a camera is placed in a real-life jury room. No script, no actors. Just cheap and easy “reality.”
Wednesday 11
“2004 Teen Choice Awards” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie host. … Honestly, are two vapid rich girls, famous for doing absolutely nothing–one of whom starred in her own notorious homemade porno movie–really the best role models for today's teens?
