Crib Notes: May 7, 2015

\ May 07, 2015

2 min read

1) Former Albuquerque Police Chief Ray Shultz—who retired just as the APD excessive force debacle was heating up—has been accused of ___________________ by state auditor Tim Keller.

a) Ethical violations

b) Taking the “donut-eating cop” concept to the extreme

c) Running away to Texas

d) Wearing a natty uniform

2) Conventional taxi competitor and ride-sharing service ______________ has announced it will soon cease operating in Albuquerque.

a) Johnny Cab

b) Lyft

c) Google Drive

d) Trans-Burque Express

3) Recently, Ellen DeGeneres and P. Diddy rewarded Albuquerque kindergarten teacher Sonya Romero for her spirit of community service with ____________________.

a) Some bitchin’ flows

b) A treatise on third wave feminism

c) A cash prize and two years worth of gasoline

d) Pizza

4)The FBI is hot on the trail of a local criminal gang accused of stealing over 68,000 _____________________.

a) Kittehs

b) Federation credits

c) Jackalope horns

d) Oxycodone tablets

5) Albuquerque has a triple-A ball club called the Isotopes. Salt Lake City has a triple-A baseball team officially referred to as ___________________.

a) The Joyful Polygamists

b) The Lakers

c) The Dukes

d) The Bees

Answers:

1) A. Keller’s investigation revealed certain alleged improprieties related to Shultz’ connection to the Taser corporation, among other questionable acts by the former head of APD. Now the New Mexico Attorney General is investigating too.

2) B. Last week, Lyft announced it would cease operations in our city on May 14, 2015, due to pressure from state regulators.

3) C. On a recent iteration of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” Degeneres—having already awarded a Lew Wallace Elementary School teacher and her campus $20,000—added a new car to the booty. P. Diddy threw in a couple years’ worth of petrol to the haul.

4) D. The long arm of the law is after a quartet of locals accused of terrorizing pharmacies around town with their unwholesome demands for oxycodone and other narcotic painkillers.

5) D. The Albuquerque Isotopes bested the Salt Lake City Bees 5-4 on Sunday afternoon. Isotope Joey Wong contributed two RBIs late in the game to put the Isotopes out front for the win.