Thursday 1“Teen Titans Go! Teen Titans Save Christmas” (Cartoon Network 7pm) No, the slapstick-filled “Teen Titans Go!” isn’t as good as the CN’s previous “Teen Titans” series. I mean, they fill in for Santa Claus in this special Christmas episode, for crying out loud.“Regular Show: Christmas in Space” (Cartoon Network 9pm) Goof-off groundskeepers Mordecai and Rigby spend Christmas in space for some reason—which kinda makes sense for this frequently surreal toon.“Love Yurts” (DIY 9pm) House-building reality shows? Sure. Cabin-building reality shows? Why not? Treehouse-building reality shows? Uhhhh. Yurt-building reality shows? C’mon, TV. Now you’re just screwing with us.Friday 2“Pacific Heat” (Netflix streaming anytime) This animated satire follows a covert squad of sexy crimefighters on the coast of Australia. It’s “Miami Vice” meets “Archer.” “Mr. Neighbor’s House” (Cartoon Network 1am) This puppet-and-people-filled series—described as “a live-action kid’s show that is too disturbing for kids”—comes to us from the creators of “Children’s Hospital.” Saturday 3A Dream of Christmas (Hallmark 6pm) An ambitious married woman dreaming of the single life gets one of them there It’s a Wonderful Life holiday movie treatments where she wakes up one day to a totally different reality and eventually learns to appreciate her old life.“Homicide for the Holidays” (Oxygen 9pm) Oxygen’s new true crime series documents various shootings, stabbings, beatings and strangulations that have taken place between Thanksgiving and New Years. Happy holidays!Sunday 4Looks Like Christmas (Hallmark 6pm) An over-involved single mom (Anne Heche) who lives for the school’s annual Christmas Spectacular butts heads with a single dad (Dylan Neal). … I can’t help but think this whole situation would be easily resolved if they would just fall in love.“Mariah’s World” (E!/Bravo 10pm) Sure, Mariah Carey is famous. But she’s not reality show famous. At least she wasn’t.Monday 5“Showtime at the Apollo” (KASA-2 7pm) FOX revives the old New York talent showcase, which ran in syndication from 1987 to 2008. Steve Harvey, who hosted from 1993 to 2000, is back. “The Great Christmas Light Fight” (KOAT-7 7pm) Given the divisions in our country today, should we really be fighting over who has more Christmas lights?“National Christmas Tree Lighting 2016” (Hallmark 5pm) James Taylor, Kelly Clarkson and Chance the Rapper sing. Eva Longoria and Marc Anthony drop by. Because, c’mon, a Christmas tree lighting needs a lot of padding.“The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (KRQE-13 9pm) It’s not Christmas time until Adrian Lima struts the catwalk in a million dollar bra and Bruno Mars sings something.Tuesday 6“Knocked Up” (Lifetime 8:02pm) “Teen Mom” but without the teen part.“Battle of the Ex-Besties” (Oxygen 12am) Former best friends team up to try to win a $100,000 prize. … And one another’s enduring love and respect. … But most importantly, a $100,000 prize.Wednesday 7Hairspray Live! (KOB-4 ?) Harvey Fierstein, Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande star in this live adaptation of John Waters’ movie-turned-Broadway-musical-turned-back-into-a-movie-starring-John-Travolta.
Week In Sloth
Alibi
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3 min read
