Thursday 8
“Monday Night Football” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Hey, don't tell me. I know it's not Monday. But ABC is jumping the gun a bit presenting the season kickoff game of Oakland at New England.
“Reunion” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) Fox's companion piece to “The O.C.” finds a group of high school friends reunited after 20 years by the death of a friend. The show splits its time between the teenage and the thirtysomething versions of the cast, uncovering a murder mystery not unlike the one that got “Desperate Housewives” percolating with soapy secrets.
Friday 9
“Fashion Rocks” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Or “Summer is Almost Over, Only a Couple More Weeks of This Lame Timeslot Filler.” Catwalking fashion models are joined by assorted musicians like Destiny's Child, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, Alicia Keys, Nelly, Gwen Stefani, David Bowie and everybody's favorite token country dude Tim McGraw.
Saturday 10
Man With the Screaming Brain (Sci-Fi Channel 7 p.m.) A couple months after his whirlwind coast-to-coast tour, cult icon Bruce Campbell unveils his writing/directing/acting debut with this appropriately goofball horror film. Bruce plays an American industrialist who ends up in a former Soviet republic sharing his cranium with the brain of an ex-KGB agent. Throw in Ted Raimi and you've got a deal.
Landslide (Hallmark 7 p.m.) Gee, that hurricane Katrina makes your little disaster movie look kinda pathetic, huh, Hallmark?
Sunday 11
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Wait. Lemme get this straight. It's not even Halloween and we're getting the season premiere of “The Simpsons”? Wow. Suddenly, I feel like all is right with the world.
“My Fair Brady” (VH1 7:30 p.m.) Generic Reality Show No. 219 is a go. Insert random washed-up actor … Christopher Knight from “The Brady Bunch.” You are cleared for launch.
“Breaking Bonaduce” (VH1 8:30 p.m.) Generic Reality Show No. 220 is a go. Insert random washed-up actor … Danny Bonaduce from “The Partridge Family.” You are cleared for launch.
Monday 12
“Wildfire” (ABC Family 10 p.m.) The Albuquerque-lensed teen soaper hits its first season finale. I guess it's your civic duty to watch.
Tuesday 13
“The Biggest Loser” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Is this what we've come to, America? We're now a nation so fat and lazy that we'd rather just sit on the couch and watch other people lose weight?
“Bones” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX sticks with the meds by pairing the hit show “House” with this new cop-doc show about a forensic investigator who's a hot girl (Emily Deschanel from Boogeyman). … Well, Angel from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” is along for the ride.
“Supernatural” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) Two brothers (Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles) probe their father's mysterious death by becoming supernatural investigators. They're not as funny as the Ghostbusters, but they're way hunkier.
Wednesday 14
“Head Cases” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) Chris O'Donnell (Batman & Robin) and Adam Goldberg (Saving Private Ryan) star in this comedy/drama about a lawyer and his crazy wacky sidekick.
