Let's face it: The only reason for getting up on Thanksgiving morning is to watch the “Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade” (KOB-4 9 a.m.). This year's 78th annual affair runs for three whole hours, ensuing you won't miss a single float, marching band or freezing Broadway performer. Hosts of little consequence include Katie Couric, Matt Lauer. Guest stars include Kelsey Grammer, Jimmy Smits, Tony Shalhoub and Nikki Cox. The “CBS All-American Thanksgiving Parade” (KRQE-13 7 a.m.) consists largely of the exact same Macy's parade, but is disguised under a more patriotic name and features a slightly earlier air time. FOX, trying its best to one-up New York, offers “America's Thanksgiving Parade” (KASA-2 9 a.m.), a one-hour special from Detroit featuring floats, balloons, bands and (I would think) random muggings.
It could be argued, however, that the other reason to get up Thanksgiving morning is football. You can choose from “The Baltimore Colts at the Detroit Lions” (KRQE-13 10:30 a.m.) or “The Chicago Bears at the Dallas Cowboys” (KASA-2 2:30 p.m.). I have no sporting interest in either game, but I do like to see the Cowboys get beat.
Moviewise, Cartoon Network has a few good offerings, the best of which is The Iron Giant (Cartoon Network 4 p.m.). Turner Classic Movies has movies all the time, of course, but Gone With the Wind (TCM 6 p.m.) seems like a good long one to digest over. NBC has the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade-themed Miracle on 34th Street (KOB-4 2 p.m.). FOX breaks out the big guns with Spider-Man (KASA-2 7 p.m.).
If, for some odd reason, you're not entirely sick of food by then, Food Network will have block of holiday-oriented food shows in the evening. “World's Best Pastry” (Food 6 p.m.) is followed by “America's Best Pastry” (Food 7 p.m.)--which, frankly, seems like a bit of a comedown. “Good Eats” (Food 8 p.m.) features an episode titled “Gravy Confidential,” which ties in nicely with “The Secret Life of ... Pies” (Food 8:30 p.m.). The foody evening wraps up with an episode of “Iron Chef” (Food 9 p.m.), in which the chefs battle it out to prepare multiple turkey dishes in one hour.
Of course, if you want to combine the day's best offerings--food and sports--may I suggest tuning in to The Glutton Bowl: Thanksgiving Day Special” (FOX Sports Network 8 p.m.). This two-hour special features people eating assorted items in a head-to-head competition to see who can shovel down the most food in the least amount of time. It may actually make you feel good about what you just inhaled, tubby.
Of course, if you really want a taste of the season, set your dial to the classic “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.). It's followed by the recent Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas (KOAT-7 7:30 p.m.), which serves to remind you that: A) They don't make 'em like used to, and B) Thanksgiving is officially over, so get out there and start with the Christmas shopping.