“2008 Asian Excellence Awards” (E! 7 p.m.) I haven’t even seen the list of nominees, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and bet Sandra Oh gets one for “Grey’s Anatomy,” but John Cho does not get one for Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.
“Lost” (KOAT-7 9:02 p.m.) Great season and all, but we are totally getting screwed out of two minutes’ worth of “Lost” goodness each week!
“Man vs. Wild” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Bear Grylls starts off his new season by showing you how to survive alone in the wilds of Zambia ... you know, in case you ever get lost alone in the wilds of Zambia.
“Doctor Who” (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Since his revival on the BBC, The Doctor has spent an inordinate amount of time hanging around modern-day London, so it’s nice to see him check out a different time and place for a change. Tonight’s episode, set during the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in Pompeii, was even shot in Italy for added flavor.
The Teacher’s Crime (Lifetime 7 p.m.) How sad is it that, even without seeing this film, you can guess what our teacher’s titular crime was? ... Yup, that one.
“America’s Funniest Home Videos” (KOAT-7 6 p.m.) Tonight, “AFHV” celebrates its 400th episode. ... I’d just like to take this moment to remind you that “Arrested Development” is still canceled.
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Lisa shoots a documentary that gets accepted into the Sundance Film Festival, allowing indie film faves Jim Jarmusch and John C. Reilly to guest-voice as themselves.
“Cities of the Underworld” (History Channel 7 p.m.) Tonight’s episode explores secret Soviet bases abandoned since the end of the Cold War. ... Sounds cool, but there probably aren’t as many mutant-alien hybrids there as first-person shooter video games have led us to believe.
“Deal or No Deal” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Speaking of former Soviet republics: If last week’s Star Wars-themed episode didn’t tempt me to watch this dull game show (and it didn’t in the slightest), then a two-hour broadcast live from Estonia sure ain’t gonna cut the mustard.
“Women’s Murder Club” (KOAT-7 9:02 p.m.) James Patterson’s series about four hot women who join forces to solve crimes in San Francisco moves from the Friday night dead zone to Tuesdays to answer the question, “What would happen if ‘Sex and the City’ and ‘Charlie’s Angels’ got together and had a baby?”
“Factory Made” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Discovery Channel launches this new industrial industry series in grand form by taking viewers on a tour of a factory that refurbishes old carpets. ... That sounds like the worst elementary school field trip ever.
“Audition: Barbara Walters Journey” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Charles Gibson interviews Barbara Walters about her career. Next week, Barbara Walters interviews Charles Gibson about his career. The week after that, everybody in the ABC newsroom shares pictures of their grandkids.